Postpartum advice

Hey, I’m looking for some advice on where to go or what to do. I’m 14 weeks postpartum and since having her I’ve always felt so overwhelmed, I’m exclusively breastfeeding which I hate as for some reason it makes me feel dirty and disgusting and gives me such bad thoughts about myself, it also makes me so overstimulated to things (if I’m feeding and the tv is too loud, my hair is touching me, it’s too light/too dark it sends me into a spiral). I find I get into a rage really quickly, not at my baby and I’d like to thing I never would but within myself, shes a colicky baby and can cry for hours and I can feel this rage inside of me where I need to get it out, because I don’t want to scare her or be angry near her I end up just crying for hours. I live with my partner who is very supportive but is out of the house for 12ish hours a day at work and my nearest family is 2.5hrs away, I do have friends where I live but none that can understand or help with what I’m feeling. I told my heath visitor and dr this at my 8 week check and was told by the HV it’s my hormones and they will stable out at 12 weeks and I’ll feel better and the Dr told me I’m just tired and will feel better when I start getting more sleep. For the past 2 weeks I’ve been struggling to fall asleep, I’m laying awake feeling sick, nervous and like I’m going to have a panic attack. I really don’t want this to affect my baby, we do have some really good days where I feel fine but then other days I really dislike life. Has anyone been through something similar? Where would I go from here, health visitor or Dr? Or do I just figure it out myself.

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I recommend speaking to your doctor again and asking for further postpartum support as being fobbed off and told its your hormones isn't good enough at this point. Do you have a health visitor you can contact, or any local mum support groups you can look into?

Hiya, I’ve breastfed my 2 boys and this is exactly how I felt, if you want to message me then feel free and we can chat, it’s hard to speak to the doctors as they just label it as ppd or anxiety straight away My partner worked 14/15 hour shifts gone for the night till next morning and my family is about hour an half away from me so I’ve been there 🩷

@Megan my partner was fuming when I was told it was just hormones as it took so much for me to speak up and then just shut down and told I was fine. I don’t have an actual health visitor but I there is a helpline where they put you in touch with the health visitor. I go to a few mum groups but nothing particularly to do with what I mentioned. I will contact the doctors then and see if they will give me further help. Thank you😊

@Sophie I don't blame your partner at all, I would also be very annoyed. Yes okay, postpartum, hormones are everywhere however that is no excuse and your GP should really have taken your more seriously and offered further support. I'm sorry that this has happened to you, but if you feel comfortable in doing so, speak up again. You've got this x

Definitely recommend speaking to your GP again or self referring to IAPT if it's available in your area. When you have a baby you're priority for mental health support & it's so important to keep us mentally healthy. You're doing amazing & you're not dirt or disgusting! Have you tried pumping?

@Star yeah I pump 2 bottles a day but struggle to do it throughout the day when I’m on my own.. I’ll look into that self referral as I’ve never heard of it before

Hormones are everywhere and I didn't breastfeed but frankly that is not good enough from your gp and hv. Of course I felt mixed emotions but had a good support network (although some days wasn't enough) Please speak to them again as you've been great in starting the conversation but they need to help you or provide groups for you to talk to.

@Terri I 100% agree with stopping, it’s what I want to do but then I keep telling myself she needs to be breastfed🙈 because anytime I ask for help with stopping I’m told ‘breastfeeding really is the best for your baby’. I think I’ve been waiting for someone to give me permission to stop when I know it should be my choice only. I think early on I linked it just to feeding as that was the only time I felt that way but as time has gone on it’s been different times not just when feeding so yeah a lot more to it than feeding. Thank you for your message, I will contact the HV tomorrow as drs had over a month wait for an appointment when I called them x

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