He thinks I cheated

Hi all I just need some advice from other people who are pregnant or mummas. I think I know what to do but my partner got blind drunk and nasty with me yesterday and and told me he thinks the baby isn't his (I'm 34w) he's been cheated on in the past and is quite insecure. Back before I was pregnant he went through my phone and saw a message where I had told my friend a passenger flirted with me (I'm airline crew) I never flirted back I just was polite but he's using this as his ammo and convinced he has done the maths and it's not his baby, since then he's proposed to me etc cause that's "the right thing" to me though he has broken us with this admission, I'm devastated but won't be made out to be what I'm not

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@Alena I've also considered this possibility

Has he ever cheated? It maybe the fact as women we 100% know that child is ours, we made it, literally. For men this is a very scary adjustment and the ultimate fear for men is to fall in love with a child that isn't theirs. Has he ever cheated or done anything to make you not trust him? Don't let his insecurities that are very very common amongst new dads to be be the thing that causes your love to die and a child to have a broken home. You can get past insecurities that have no foundation of fact. The men that cheated on me didn't accuse me of cheating until I knew in my gut they had and questioned them first with evidence. Have compassion for him and yourselves pregnancy is horrible for some couples.

@Misha I hope he hasn't cheated and it sounds naive of me but I don't think that he would, I appreciate this reply as well thank you xx

Trust that feeling. It will keep you sane through this pregnancy. Not every man is a cheater and when they are they are not great at hiding it. Lol take care of yourself mama, try to reassure him with how you imagine the baby looking like him and having his features. That might settle his fears. Not long now until you have your baby and all your focus will be on them. Sending you a hug 🤗

I've said all that, he's very insecure but yes I'll keep trying. I won't lose myself in trying to persuade a man that can't see me, who I am if that makes sense though ? I will be doing a paternity test and yes I want to stay with him but not at my loss of mental health etc. it's so hard isn't it all the emotions we feel as women xx

Maybe he should try therapy if he's so insecure to get to the root of the issue. It's completely up to you if you want to stay with him or not. But I will warn you, hormones are messing with you so much ATM. Wait until you are at least 6 months postpartum as your hormones should be yours again and thoughts and emotions will be more regulated.

@Misha yes totally that's what I'm thinking and I don't want to make any stressful moves while baby still cooking, I'm very lucky I've got a lot of friends on side and family as well so I know if I did decide to leave then I would be okay, I have my army. I've suggested therapy to him before but unfortunately he's just not open to it, always the way isn't it

Aside from these accusations (…and they are pretty nasty), does he make you happy?

@Gillian for the most part yes. I'm not saying there's not been other stuff he's not perfect but I thought we were over it all

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