Troubles with my own Mother & depression

Hey mamas, So this isn’t about my MIL it’s about my own mother and my “mother wound”. Posting here and anon as I really just want to hear from others, see others point of view and what not. So long story short, my own mother wasn’t the nurturing type. I don’t remember ever being close to her, in my younger years I remember loving her but I was afraid of her as I would get hit when I was a kid. In my teenage years I resented her, then our relationship settled for a while as it became very “surface level”… then after I got married there was turmoil again. This turmoil really ramped after I had my baby who is now 2 yrs old… my mother doesn’t respect the way I parent. She will argue about anything that I do, for example - I say no sweets, she will get mad at me then proceed to give my child sweets on an empty belly. She is never there was for, post partum or anything like that but then calls my baby HER baby. I have even heard her calling herself MOM to my child a few times, she quickly corrects herself when she does this. When I leave to go home, I have depression for the next couple of days. I mope around, lay in bed and cry. Why is she so loving to my daughter but could never give me the same love? Why is she not there for me? Why does she treat me differently to her other daughters? How do I navigate this? Do I cut her off? It’s been 2 days since I have seen her and I cannot function, I haven’t stopped crying.

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Hi my love hope ur OK my was Roughly the same but now she don't care about my kids and seen them for ages miss birthday gd thing she lives a lil far for me I did stop taking to my mum she never calls or nothing so I Decided I wasn't going to bother anymore and then 5 months later she called I get Anxiety when it comes to her but all I can say is u do what's right for u hun x

Oh dear, i had similar things with my family members but only small period and with both parents at different times. My father is still very incompassionate and neglectful. My one recommendation would be to set very strict boundaries and limit your contact because she won’t change and i would highly recommend getting therapy or counselling because the hit it has can be heavy. I got help and it helped me understand and set some actions. You are your lives and your babys life director - you take action for your health and your babys health. Wishing you strength- you’ve got this mama! 🙏🏼❤️

Maybe it sounds weird but I just learned to honor her. Thinking that I chose her to be my mother and teach me my life lessons. Gave me a bit more peace. I learned that I should love myself. She couldn't give you what you wanted. Because she didn't know how. You are so amazing because she wasn't. 💕 Be the best mom you can 🪽 Triggers showing you the things you need to heal ✨ Big big 🤗 Forgiveness is a key for your happiness. I feel ya. It's sucks to have a shitty mom.

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