Mental breakdown
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I feel like I need therapy but as of now we can’t afford it
Is there anything available through your church (assuming you go) or through a local grief group? Those are typically free
Have you contacted your health insurance? Sometimes they offer special counseling sessions for big life events…a death in the family could be one
Please find some therapy/counseling, check the outlets others mentioned and you can also check to see if your local university/college has a family therapy, I was having a breakdown and was able to get therapy from family therapy at a university for a few years. I’m sorry you lost your mom, in time you will find peace. Give yourself grace and space to process all your feelings.
Look up sliding scale therapy :) they have places all over the US that you can decide how much you can afford. I used to go to one and paid the lady only $20/ session. She was a student but in her last part before becoming a licensed social work and I loved her!
If you had a major illness, you would go to the doctor. Most people wouldn’t let themselves languish. It should be no different for mental health. I would figure out a way to get into therapy even if that meant door dashing after your husband gets home from work so you can afford the co-pays
First, breathe... then let yourself feel what you need to feel. Grieving is different for everyone and takes as long as it takes. If it is getting in the way of parenting your kiddo, you will need to find outlets and therapy that works for you. I can honestly say that although my Mom passed in 2013, I am still not fully functional all the time.