Toddler being “mean” to baby

I don’t have a better word than mean, I know she’s just acting her age but it’s driving me crazy and idk how to tackle this. Toddler is almost 3 and baby is almost 1 (June birthdays). The issue I’m having is that my toddler won’t let the baby do anything. If she’s playing contently and he touches his own baby toy/teether then she freaks out and it has to be hers. I’ve even gotten him a few new things she helped pick them out and handed to himself. I try to give them some snacks and she freaks I out that he’s having anything to eat. He’s trying to practice cruising and she pulls him down and won’t let him stand up. When she’s out with her dad or napping my son is so happy to eat and play without being bothered. A few times he’s fought bedtime despite being awake for long enough and actively tired just to play. What can I do to remedy this? I know her actions are age appropriate, but she’s not even letting him eat or try to walk.
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At 2-3, they love to help out, and sometimes, it can be a lot for a new mom. I would start with finding her a big sister book, and specific tasks she can help with like baby laundry, help preparing baby snacks, and maybe a game or story time.

My son is almost 3.5 and just recently started being a little bully to our 7 month old. It’s absolutely out of jealousy and trying to get attention but it’s rough so idk what to do either 🤷🏼‍♀️ but then he’s equally just as loving sometimes

siblings fight it’s a fact

@Sherell she’s in a rebellious stint right now. She loved helping with everything but now she refuses to do anything. I don’t actually expect her to help so when she says no I just let it go 🥲

@Kate the jealousy part is frustrating because I give her so much attention and the second I can’t she’s begging for it.

@Marie 🤣🤣 I need my baby to start defending himself.

“Diffusers” are great for “rebellion”. In times of change, most children could use reassurance of their importance. Are they both your children?

@Sarah 🎀 the day we brought our son home from the hospital .. his sister threw over his bassinet.. she’s 6 and he’s 3 and they still fight over everything

Girl my kids are the exact same age and my oldest does the same thing. She pushes him to fall over if he is sitting and like to lay on him. Sometimes i feel it is attention and sometimes i think she does just want to play

We are going through this now too, same ages and same behaviors. We give our oldest plenty of attention, let him “help”, all of the things and it rarely seems to make a difference. No advice, just solidarity! Probably terrible to say but also kind of waiting for the day she can push him back. 😬😂

@Sam gosh the second I look away she tries to beat him up. I keep telling her he’s gonna hit back one day

@Whittney 🤣 I keep telling my toddler he’s gonna be able to hit or push her back one day. (Not promoting it but it’s gonna happen lol)

When something like this happens, shift focus of attention to younger one first "are you ok from falling down" "Would you like this toy instead?" That way not reinforcing it is a way to get your attention to 3 y/o (even when it's bad attention they get that's what they're signalling they want when they can't communicate feelings) Then at a time you can obtain childcare from a partner for younger one, have one on one time with your 3 y/o It's not easy.

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