Sleep Help

We've recently stopped giving milk to sleep in order to help keep Bubbas' teeth clean. Since then, it's been a nightmare getting my son to sleep. Sleep has always been tough but now it feels like a battle. Every. Single. Time. We have a routine. Dinner, bath, lotion, jammies, teeth brushing, then bed. It doesn't seem to help. We've tried rocking in a chair, walking around the room, and laying in bed with him(his bed, his room it's a big floor bed) We've tried letting him roam freely( in bed) until he's ready and tried laying a hand on his chest to keep him lying down. We rub his chest, sing, pat his belly. He just screams and flails until he finally passes out from sheer exhaustion. It's the WORST with me. Dad can put him down in 5 mins laying beside him with a hand on his chest, but for me, it's sometimes an hour. I feel like a crap mom because my baby is suffering. Dad told me he just gently pushed our son back into the laying position, and now he doesn't fight him anymore. I feel cruel doing this, BUT he also will NOT just lay down. Our baby has to be moving NON STOP. If he is in motion, he won't sleep. Grandma and Grandpa can come over and sit with him in the rocker and he doesnt fight for long. We attempted sleep training awhile back and keep regressing and failing because he screams until he gags then I give up. I'm crying while typing this because I don't know what to do for him. I don't want to traumatize my son for going to bed. Please help.