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Do you have help at home? It may be helpful if someone care for the baby for a little bit and you do something one on one with your toddler.
Carve out one on one time with him wherever you can. I invested in some “Learning with Kelsey” activity boxes to make it super easy for me to do things with my toddler while my newborn sleeps and it helped some with behavior. I also have taken my toddler on outings without my newborn when I can to pour into her so she can regulate that bad behavior she was showing.
He’s three. He was the star until just recently. All he knows is that you’re pushing him away and leaving him alone for the baby. Do you have someone who can help you? Can mom, MIL, or sister come help for a week or so? How is your partner helping in all of this? “Resent” and “hate” is worrisome to me. Hopefully you can reconnect with your son when you get someone to help with childcare. He probably misses his mom.
Both my partner and his mom live with us. He ‘s the same way with them as well when they are holding the baby. We rotate to try to get one on one time with him but whenever he’s home he wants to bother the baby. Luckily, he is in school 5 days a week which is very helpful. My feeling towards my toddler has gotten slightly better since the birth of the second but his behavior just makes me not want to be around him when he tries to hit me or the baby. I want to know if this is a sign of PPD as I don’t like feeling like this and want to seek professional advice if it’s abnormal.
Understanding the Toddler's Perspective: Disrupted routine and attention: The arrival of a new baby significantly changes the toddler's routine and can lead to feelings of being overlooked or replaced. Jealousy and insecurity: Toddlers may experience sibling rivalry, feeling jealous of the attention the new baby receives and insecure about their place in the family. Regression: Some toddlers may regress in their development (e.g., wetting the bed, needing more help with tasks) as a way to gain attention and reassurance. Difficulty expressing emotions: Toddlers may not have the language skills to express their complex emotions, leading to outbursts of anger, sadness, or withdrawal. Understanding the Parent's Perspective: Overwhelm and stress: Caring fo
Caring for a newborn can be incredibly demanding, leaving parents feeling exhausted and stressed, which can lead to irritability and a decreased ability to be patient with their toddler. Guilt and self-doubt: Parents may feel guilty about the changes their firstborn experiences and worry about whether they can love both children equally. Postpartum adjustments: Some parents may experience postpartum depression or anxiety, which can exacerbate feelings of resentment and irritability.
Prioritize self-care: Make time for activities that help you relax and recharge, even if it's just for a few minutes each day. Give your toddler extra attention: Make an effort to spend quality time with your toddler, even if it's just for short periods. Involve your toddler in caring for the baby: Allow your toddler to help with age-appropriate tasks, such as getting the baby's toys or holding the baby's feet while you change the diaper. Validate your toddler's feelings: Listen to your toddler's concerns and acknowledge their emotions, even if they are difficult to hear. Be patient: It takes time for everyone to adjust to the new family dynamic. Remember that this too shall pass: These feelings and behaviors are temporary, and things will eventually get better.
Talk to your partner, friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings.
Hate or annoyed? Do you have PPD?