Toddler hitting

Hello I have a 5 week old and 20 month old. Since the new baby has been born my toddler is obsessed with her and wants to be near her constantly but she doesn't know her own strength and often accidentally hurts her. If I try to gently move her away she hits either me or the baby or throws something. She is worst when I'm breastfeeding and I know she probably feels jealous with mummy giving so much attention to another baby. I try really hard to make her feel included, I'll sit on the floor with her while feeding her sister and try to play with her at the same time but it still happens and I can't not tell her off/allow her to continue hitting. The trouble is telling her no does nothing at all. She isn't bothered, she often laughs. Has anyone had this and actually managed to stop it? I don't know what to do and I don't want to get angry at my daughter but this constant hitting is really getting to me. Any advice would be appreciated!

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My 23 month old is the same, I've tried ignoring, telling off, re directing, it's a nightmare so here in solidarity with you!

Awww I'm about to have my 4th baby next week and we have a 15 month old. He's such a loving baby though but he's going through s hitting stage atm not nastily just bit rough. Have u tried a reborn kinda doll with her and then practicing gently touching her hand and saying words like gentle, soft, and then giving loads of praise. I know it sounds stupid but anything is worth a try right? It's a phase though she'll get through it, it's probably an element of excitement and jealousy at once. U got this Mamma and I'm sure your doing the best u can. There'll be hard days and good days, but everyday is a learning day even after 4 kids lol xxx

They struggle when a new baby arrives because suddenly they're not the center of the attention at home and don't know how to express that. It can manifest in different ways but they do adjust. With the hitting repetition and consistency will be key. I would move her away from you and keep doing it. If she's hitting you she doesn't get to close to you and she will understand soon enough. Then when she's gentle with you both praise gentle hands or kind hands.

@Catherine I tried the doll thing. She was very interested in her doll before I gave birth but now just wants the real thing and has no interest sadly!

@Emily so so hard! I feel bad for getting angry some times I know its just because she wants her mummy to herself

@Bethan thank you! I've been doing this I think I just need to give it more time! I just get impatient and want her to stop immediately but that's just not realistic she's just a baby herself really

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