Going back to full time work :(

Is anyone else feeling really emotional about going back to full time work? The original plan was for me to return part time, but financially that’s just not an option for us anymore. My partner is self employed, and with his income being up and down each month, we need the stability of a full time wage. I feel so sad knowing I won’t get to spend every day with my little girl. It just feels so wrong to have a baby and then leave them in someone else’s care, it’s really starting to hit me now that my return date is getting closer. I’m sorry, I’m just feeling so down about it all. Has anyone else been through this or feeling the same? Please tell me it gets easier.
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Yeah it's tough I'm using annual leave to phase my return starting this week, 3 days has been full on I can't imagine 5 days yet but got to be done unfortunately

I’m not going back to work full time because it’s not feasible for us with childcare as we both work shifts, however on the days where I’ll be working a day shift I won’t see my little girl for a full 24 hours as I’ll be out the door before she wakes up and back home after she’s gone to bed 😭 I can’t think about it without crying and feeling sick at the thought of it. I haven’t left her for more than 6 hours her whole life and I’ve got no idea how I’ll cope but I’m dreading it! Different situation but you’re not alone in your feelings 💗

@Flo That’s a good idea to use annual leave for a phased return. Argh it’s so hard isn’t it!

@Jade it’s so hard :( thank you 💜

I went back to work full time after my first. This time I’m going back gradually using annual leave but I plan to request less hours from September. Not sure if it’ll get approved though Going back after my first was hard but it was actually a lot easier than I thought it’d be too. I enjoyed having more freedom but I am too sad about leaving my baby. It is tough

It's so tough and I really feel for you. I went back at 7 months (my husband and I did shared parental leave so we swapped) and I thought I wouldn't be upset about it knowing that she'd be with her dad rather than at nursery, but in the end I was just so upset that I wasn't the one with her. The first day back, my arms felt so weirdly light and unburdened not to have a baby to hold or pram to push around! But it does gets easier. I've been back at work almost 5 months now and baby has just happily settled at nursery which reassures me that I'm doing the right thing. I still miss her when I'm at work but it makes me cherish the evenings after we've picked her up from nursery and before she she goes to bed. My hard boundary is that regardless of the amount of work I might have, nothing is taking those 2 hours in the evening away from me. Sorry for the essay but just know that you're definitely not alone in how you are feeling and it does (slowly) get better 💛

Is there a chance you can request to work 4 long days? I do this and feel like I get more time with my little boy with that extra day off!

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