Toxic mother in law

Sorry about the long post. Has anyone had a mother in law so toxic that she is ruining motherhood for you? How do you deal with it? Even before our daughter she was extremely manipulative and controlling in our relationship. She has an unhealthy attachment to her sons. No girl will ever be good enough for her sons unless they worship the ground she walks on. She uses crying and guilt tripping to try and get things to go her way. This is our first daughter and she does nothing but disrespect our boundaries and rules we have. She’ll call me disrespectful and immature to my husband because him and I set boundaries and expect her to follow them. But she does the complete opposite of what we’ve asked her to do. (She is unfortunately our babysitter three days a week due to cost of daycare) She will sit there and play victim and cry hysterically to my husband about the rules and he just lets her say all this mean stuff about me and let me take all the blame for it when they are rules we both set in place. She has made it very clear she wants to raise her how she wants her raised. She basically treats her as if she is her mother. She will even go as far as calling her her baby all the time. She makes jokes behind my back about how she hopes mama is the last name she’ll say. She has made everything about her from the pregnancy to now. For example, while pregnant she asked if she should talk to her old coworkers to make sure I had the best nurses (she use to work in L&D) I said no I trust my doctors and didn’t want special treatment. Some time after birth I find out she went behind my back to tell her friends to get me the best nurses and now anytime I talk about my birth experience and how much I loved my nurses she’ll interrupt me and say “you’re welcome. That’s because of me.” Which is exactly why I didn’t want her input. I did not allow her in the room while I gave birth and made it very clear I did not want her in there. But we allowed them in the waiting room while I was giving birth and they waited right outside the room and due to prior issues with fetal distress nurses were coming and going the whole time so the door was cracked with the window as well so she watched the entire thing so now anytime I mention anything birth related she stop me mid-sentence and say “I know, I saw.” Even if I’m not even telling her about it. I love my daughter more than anything in the world but my mother in law is making me feel resentful and has made me put a hold on even considering a second baby because of the constant shame and guilt tripping I’m receiving from her.