Birth Support Dilemma: Ex, Family, or Alone?
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@Hollie Ex on standby is an idea. Thank you.
i think only you know what is best for you. i agree with hollie, it sounds like you and your ex have a good friendship and i think having him in the room wouldn’t be the worst thing, especially if it means you have someone with you, if that’s what you want. it sounds to me like the only real issue at hand is you not being able to come to terms with what you could be potentially ‘missing out’ from with your ex and baby on the way. i think to handle these feelings when they arise, remind yourself why you split up. it’s easy to look at past situations in a different light, especially when your carrying both your child, but it’s also important not to be suede by that feeling. stand on business, keep the friendship, work on the friendship and if you can, have him with you to support you during birth. or don’t! your perfectly capable doing this on your own, and your not really ‘alone’, you have your baby just moments away from meeting you! you sound very strong, and there’s 1/2
2/2 no doubt you’ll meet someone who will make you very grateful you didn’t settle back into a relationship with your ex for convenience. good luck with the birth! ❤️
@petal Awww, I think that’s part of the issue tbh. He broke-off the relationship when I needed him the most, and that crushed my trust in him. He also said some really hurtful things like how I’d basically tricked him into pregnancy, and that he could never see us being a family, etc. I’ve been trying to be the bigger person for my soon-to-be daughter’s sake and not let the situation make me bitter. I grew up with both parents under one roof, and I feel bad/guilty that I won’t be able to provide that for her. I’ve also given up on finding love going forward- I just don’t think I have it in me to allow myself to be that vulnerable to a man again. Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful response though, you make a lot of good points.
thank you for sharing that with me, that must have taken a lot of courage. you are absolutely in your right to not trust him fully after what you’ve said he’s done. if you are used to growing up in a two parent household, of course you’ll want the same for you daughter, but also remember that what made it special for you to have both parents growing up, was having a household filled with love and trust and kindness. i don’t imagine you’d have that with this guy, especially if he can say such venomous things to you at your most vulnerable time. that’s really not on, and im sorry you had to endure that. he is certainly not the love of your life. i can assure you of that, so you really are not missing out on anything from him, you’ve got the best from him, and that’s a little sperm 😂 your right for being the bigger person, but your also right to not want much to do with him friendship wise. he can be in your daughters life without a lot of communication from you 1/2
2/2 and girl, you aren’t giving up on love, your just beginning your life with your daughter, and you will be vulnerable again with a man DESERVING. for now, focus on you, and your daughter on her way. love will find you, all in Gods timing ❤️
@petal Hahahaha- the BEST little sperm! That’s hilarious but true. 😂🤣 You speak a lot of sense girl- the most important thing is raising a daughter in a home that is safe in a supportive environment where there is love, trust and joy. I need to trust in God’s timing- thank you for that reminder. I genuinely feel better about everything. 🥹 X
Only you can make this decision, but for me I think I’d struggle to go through childbirth alone. It sounds like you have a good relationship with your ex so maybe you could have him on standby to offer support if you feel you need it?