Social services and nursery

was going to post this anonymous incase any of his teachers were on here but just from the description they'll know who it was But I would like your opinion on this situation we have had over the past few months with our 4 year old non verbal boy and nursery Basically,back in early February our boy was upstairs and was rummaging for toys before having a nap,which is how it usually goes. He spotted a toy down the side of his wardrobe which was next to his radiator and decided to climb into the tiny gap to get the toy and got stuck between the radiator and wardrobe and got badly burnt (we had thought it was on the lowest number possible) Anyway, we obviously got medical help for him straight away ,saw doctors and specialist wound nurses and the next time he was at nursery we told them the whole story,let them contact nurses ,let them even see the wound and wrap it back up themselves But after we were uncomfortable with them constantly seeing it and wanting frequent pictures ( even though we gave them weekly updates on how it is healing and what the nurses have said ) We then had social services called on us 3 weeks after telling them, as she said we aren't being open enough (despite the weekly updates) We let that one off although incredibly upset and annoyed but 2 or so weeks after she called social services again as we said "we aren't doing enough" We were at weekly nurse appointments and now hospital appointments We have now pulled him out of the nursery as we felt incredibly hurt (also he only had 3 months left there ) Also know for a fact this has been done just because we felt not right sending weekly pictures Social services themselves said they have no worries whatsoever and that we are trying our hardest to help him after an accident and nurses and doctors have backed us up in that And nurses also found it bizarre that they wanted to see it so much and take bandages off Is this normal for a school/nursery? My mum worked at a primary school for 25 and is now retired and found this very very shocking and bizarre behaviour

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They didn’t need to see it Nor do they even need weekly updates You told them what happened, it should be logged and that’s all they need! It sounds like they don’t fully believe your version and even tho everyone else is saying it’s fine they are pushing - weirdly I think you made the right choice pulling him out!!

That’s very bizarre! Definitely sounds like they believed there was more to the story, you’ve done the right thing in taking him out the nursery x

We personally thought she was getting annoyed and on her high horse because we weren't sending the pictures she wanted so she can be nosey

Not normal from my perspective, as a teacher. Yes, nurseries/schools have a responsibility to log the accident even though it happened at home, as the child would be in nursery with the wound, and to check in with you about how it's healing or if they need to administer medication of any kind, but needing to see it all the time is wierd.

A massive overstep. The nursery’s level of entitlement is crazy. It’s gonna get worse as they grow. My 12 year olds school will do home visits if a kid misses a day. They figure you should have nothing to hide and so deem it’s ok. Theres no value in privacy no more. If you fight back you look guilty leaving no options but to be compliant even though it’s an overstep. A few abusive parents and we all get labelled the same. The sad thing is, it may potentially create hesitant parents who will want to get their children help and feel it may not be worth it cos jumping through the system and dealing with fallout is too much. I feel you did a brave thing pulling him out of nursery. That could’ve been ammunition for them to try and escalate their concerns further. Good on you for not just complying to their every demand. Huge respect. X

We had something similar with our nursery, I won't go into detail but the social worker spoke to us and she said "I've actually told the nursery to back off, it's not really any of their business past the initial point of notification". They actually did back off so I believe she genuinely told them to!

@Kelly that's pretty much what ours said after the 2nd time ,told her to not call again over this child 🤭😂

They have absolutely no business in seeing the wound regularly. They have no medical training and risk introducing infection every time it is undressed you are under the care of the care of medical professionals. It is their responsibility not the nurseries to decide if they are not happy with your engagement around medical care. I would request a meeting with the nursery manager and the safeguarding lead if this is not the manager. If it had been new wounds you were sending him with it would be different but the referral to social services and the persistent requests to see a wound they have know about for week and have zero training around is wholly inappropriate and quite frankly negligent as they are risking infection If you are not happy following the meeting you can also escalate to ofstead or your local council

They're not medical professionals so have no business regularly seeing a wound to check healing. If they're concerned about his fitness to be at nursery they would address that directly with you and again no need to see a wound. If they wanted to raise a safeguarding issue and referral they are within their rights to do so but that would be after a conversation with you, not constantly seeing wounds. They would have no medical knowledge to judge healing anyway.

Crazy! I get the whole story and updates verbally on how the appointments are going but pictures and undressing etc isn’t normal. At our nursery we just fill a form to say it’s been done at home with all details then just ask out or caring if we need to do anything or how the child is. So that’s really hard for you to go through that and I’m glad social services was so understanding x

It's far from normal they have a duty to protect every child.and are in their rights to contact social services if a child gets injured on a regular basis suspect of abuse or the parents story doesn't add up. The nursery staff know if the medical professionals were concerned they would have contacted social services themselves. It's really odd they called social services three weeks later. Children have accidents and what your son did isn't unheard of. You did the right thing taking him out of nursery but don't be surprised if you hear from social services again as the nursery may think you're hiding something though you're not. Hope you find a nursery you can trust

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