Feeling Overprotective
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I'd babywear and make lots of excuses about not wanting to wake up baby. It's normal to some degree, it could also be a sign of postpartum anxiety so I'd consider that. Even so, it doesn't mean you shouldn't set boundaries around pass the baby, especially when they're so young. Did all the grandparents get their TDAP and other vaccines this year? We may be at the end of cold & flu season, but that doesn't mean they disappear.
I was the same way with my son, I did have my MIL get mad at me because I didn't like her to hold him (we stopped talkint to her shortly after that). I didn't like sharing my baby. If I did let someone hold him, I never left the room and I kept my eye on him and they didn't hold him long. I will say it does get easier.
I haven’t had my baby yet but am due this week and am planning on no visitors for at least the first month because I fully expect to feel like this and anticipate lots of pushback on our boundaries. It’s nice to know other moms have felt the same way, I keep guilting myself about it even though I know it will be better for my mental space to have a few weeks to ourselves at first.
I am the same. I’m very particular about who holds my son and for how long. I try my best to be mindful cause the main persons I trust for long periods of time is my mom and my husband. My mom told me to think about it as being thankful for so many people wanting to love our son. Definitely a middle ground to being thankful but also setting boundaries and protecting him. My husband and I didn’t have visitors the first month and hardly took him out until he got his shots. Those that love you and your baby will understand and support you. If someone needed to come over we made sure they had their vaccinations and haven’t been around anyone sick or recently sick themselves
@Audrey this! I experienced postpartum anxiety with my 1st one (that was a long time ago) and I wasn’t even aware that was a thing I only had heard of pp depression so it was hard navigating through it and I probably seemed super crazy to everyone around me, now with more kids I have things under control but definitely OP should consider it if things get a little worse like avoiding to go out because of fear something will happen.
@Mari Same! I'd never even heard of it until after I had my second and I was too far in the trenches to find a therapist at that time. It was also peak Covid, so that didn't help. Just had my third and made sure to get therapy established in advance, just in case. I think it's especially hard to recognize with the first bc you have no baseline for what a normal amount of worry is for a newborn.
@Audrey omg I can imagine covid didn’t help that anxiety at all!! Im glad you have something set up ahead of time in case you need it, that’s something I definitely have benefited from is therapy I wish when I was a younger mom it wasn’t such a hush hush thing cause I could’ve done so much better but oh well it’s never too late.
I was the same way with my son, we didn’t even go to family gatherings the first year of his life. It does get easier with time. She’s yours so if you don’t want others holding her that’s your decision! In my opinion when it comes to your in-laws have your husband be the one who tells them she’s not going to be passed around. If they have a problem with it. That’s not your fault. Everyone got mat ad me when I wouldn’t let them hold my son and we had to cut them off because no one respected my boundaries.