Trying for a second baby!

I’m currently 41 and had my first child when I was 40 (pregnant at 39). We are now trying for a second because we really want to give him a sibling and always envisioned us as a family of four. I recently got pregnant but then had a miscarriage at 5.5 weeks. My OB said that it was probably due to a chromosomal abnormality. I know that it’s normal to have fewer eggs of quality as we age but I’m really struggling with the realization that perhaps I won’t be able to have another child (which is not to say that we don’t feel so blessed and grateful to have one). Any advice on what worked the second time around or how to just have better mental clarity?

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Are you doing fertility treatments? Many people only think of IVF (which is tens of thousands of dollars) but I went on Clomid (out of pocket cost <$50 though I had to have regular doctors appointments) and in uterine insemination (like a pelvic exam on the day you ovulate where they sort your husband's semen for the most active sperm and use an overgrown eyedropper to put that right up by the top of your uterus (cost out of pocket ~$800) and I got pregnant at 40 on the first cycle of that combo. Wishing you all the best! P.s. my fertility doctor had me do prenatals, fish oil and CoQ10 (specifically for egg health) for 3 months before.

I’ve the first at 40 and the second at 42. Also had a miscarriage between the two of them so tried straight after mc (just I finished bleeding) and got pregnant with a second🙂 remember, you’re more fertile after pregnancy (whether it’s ended with or not). Go for it! And good luck 💕

First, remember that miscarriage is more common than we talk about at any age. My first pregnancy at 35 was a mc, went on to have 3 full term babies. Wait the appropriate amount of time and try again. Keep taking your prenatal and anything else your OB recommends. There's a very good chance it won't happen again. I just delivered my third at 42.

@Alexis that’s awesome never heard of that and yes we all just go straight to IVF I was told I am in early menopause at 40 i am now 42 I haven’t had a normal period since 2 yrs ago . I wonder if the process your went through would work for me too what is the name of that procedure

I had 2 when I was young, a MC at 37, a 🌈 🩷 at a month shy of 39, a MC at 40, a 🌈 💙 at 41, and a surprise 🎉💙 at 43. We're not hesitating to try for one more, hoping for another 🩷. Having a MC is Earth shaking, but it doesn't mean that it's the end of that there isn't a rainbow around the corner 🫂❤️

I’m thinking exactly the same as you. We desperately want to start again but I had a C-section and Dr making me wait 😣

I had my first at 39, followed by two very early miscarriages (5/6 weeks) and ended up with twins at 41! It's hard not to panic but miscarriages are really normal.

My advice is to read the book It starts with the egg! It takes ONE healthy egg to make a baby. ONE. Work on getting your eggs in the best possible shape. I am 40 and TTC my second. Sending you all the baby dust !

Wow, we have had very similar experiences! We started trying when I was 37, got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby at 38. Husband and I do really want to give her a sibling but we won't do fertility treatments, or at least not IVF. I did the prenatal, COQ-10 and fish oil too so probably go back on those. But point being, we're still struggling to get our intimacy back. Having a toddler does not help, lol. All these stories about miscarriage scare me though. I've been lucky, I had a chemical pregnancy (I think that's what they call it) where I lost the baby very, very early. I actually didn't even realize that was what it was at the time. Anyways! I'm on this journey too and it looks like a lot of other women have done it successfully. It's always nice to see these stories, society is so hard on us with our "geriatric pregnancies". 🙄

@Dani Clomid is the name of the drug and in uterine insemination (IUI) is the procedure.

@Sarah We're on the fence about trying for a 4th. I really want another girl, but of course that's a toss up. Thinking I'm just not going to go back on any bc this time and leave it to fate for a year or so.

@Audrey if we do have another, it'll be my 6th, although my two oldest just moved out.. they're still my galls ❤️ my 3rd born girl desperately wants a baby sister.

I'm very sorry for your loss. Yet, the abnormalities are not always coming from mom s side. Sperm quality is a huge factor. Don't put the blame on yourself. Miscarriage happens a lot more than we want to talk about. You totally can have a baby. Send you a positive warm hug

I hope you can make it soon! At the end, it is a little miracle.

I had a miscarriage at 32, gave birth to my son at 33 and had another miscarriage at 35. Still hoping to have one more baby but it is always in the back of my head that I have already had two miscarriages and could have another. Miscarriages are more common than what is actually talked about. Yes, risk of miscarriage increases with age but at the same time, many women have healthy pregnancies / babies well into their 40s! Good luck to you ❤️

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