Intimacy

🙋🏼‍♀️

Girl... I've been like that for 3 years now 🙃

4 months now 🤣

17 months counting lol, I feel like sometimes it'd the baby, we are going to try have a date night, ny problem is I never leave baby unless his at nursery

My problem was I didn't feel good about my body anymore, even when I got my sex drive back, I just didn't want to be seen naked anymore. No matter how much BD told me he thought I was even more attractive cus I'd had HIS baby, I knew how diff I looked & I was over weight & felt terrible about myself

I had sex 6 weeks after having a baby he’s one now and it’s not as much as before but still happens lol

Are there any other forms of intimacy?

@Haley I just don’t feel connected

@Melissa idk how to feel.

@Chioma and it doesn’t cross my mind

@Pam we’ve had chances and I just don’t feel connected to him to do it

@jes same but I also don’t feel connected to him

@Annabel intimacy was always initiated by me. I hate how he tries to initiate because it feels like I’m a piece of meat.

@Kim it’s been none! I don’t even want it at all

I’d definitely communicate this then, as it can seriously affect your relationship. You need to be properly wined and dined, made to feel sexy and even “small” gestures of love to put you back into that frame of mind to even want to be physically intimate again

I would figure exactly out what is needed for you to feel close to have intimacy and then communicate that with him. Whatever the circumstances were/are, a lack of intimacy can absolutely kill a relationship.

We couldn't wait more than 2 weeks but we've always been a once or twice a week couple so we aren't like rabbits. I think my libido is higher than his

What? Sex is very important. It keeps the side chicks away. Don’t deny a grown man intimacy. It’s a very important function in a relationship. Even I would walk out of a relationship if there was no sex. If you don’t, someone in the office will. Men are not as loyal as us

Me. I’m 2 yrs postpartum and don’t have sex

@Incognito 👻 👻 I know exactly what you mean when you talk about the poor initiation attempts and lack of connection. Don't listen to all the women here you are not REQUIRED to have sex with a man that's not treating you right whether he is your husband or not.

@Michelle if sex is the only thing stopping the man from having a side chick i don't think I want that man anyways.

@Michelle your comment is kind of just...ew. my husband finds the term "side chicks" gross and if I got vagina cancer and couldn't have sex, or otherwise didn't want to for some time, he wouldn't cheat because he believes in fidelity in marriage. You find the right man, yeah he'll be loyal regardless.

Yes with my 1st child, it lasted for some time. It’s definitely normal !

@Melissa you are not required to. But avoiding sexual intimacy when there once was one and there’s no avoidable reasons as to why you can’t have sex anymore isn’t the answer either. Unless both parties are happy and content to not have any form of sexual intimacy the reasons as to how they’ve got here need to be figured out and dealt with in order for the relationship to thrive. Otherwise you’re just stuck in a limbo autopilot kind of relationship. No one wants that.

@Annabel and I’ve dropped hints and done all of that. He just doesn’t get it.

@Shay I’ll try and thank you

@Tiffany I just like to be mentally and emotionally connected first

@Michelle these are my husbands words before we got married and he will say it again! If a grown man can’t keep his peen in his pants for the woman he loves then he’s not a man in love but a child. Plus we didn’t have sex the first year we started dating.

@Christina🤱🏼🍂☕️♈️ I don’t think I can go that long but something needs to happen 🥲

@Jez thank you 🥹

@Annabel thanks for saying this

I can live the rest of my life without it personally. I don’t have a sex drive. I don’t have interest. I’m in my Mom Era. My child comes first 🤷🏼‍♀️ Good luck to you

@Michelle don’t be deceived, you can have sex with a man everyday just for the sake of it and he will still cheat if he wants to.

@Chioma yup. My ex was like that, deep down I was insecure about him and we did it everyday, and I made his lunches, dinners, everything and this man just wanted to cheat. My husband now, never would. My vagina could fall off and us not be able to have sex and I just know his stance of fidelity in marriage, I'm not worried.

@Chioma of course. But to deprive him of sex, is just driving him into another woman’s vagina. Give him some action at least once a week.

Then I am a child. No sex for a year. Bye husband. I am getting fed elsewhere

@Tiffany there are like 10 men that will stay loyal. Let’s be real. I don’t think she has cancer in this case. So you took it off topic. Even I would find a side piece if I hadn’t had sex from my partner for a year. He would even be told.

@Michelle well not everybody feels the same way you do. I know my husband and I wouldn't ever look outside our marriage for something like sex. Our marriage means more than that.

@Tiffany I wouldn’t expect us all to share the same view. However, let’s be real. The majority of men would leave or cheat if they were being sexually neglected. I wouldn’t expect a men to say it with their chest. Sex is a need like eating and urinating.

@Michelle I know, I've dated men like that. My husband is genuinely some kind of glitch in the matrix. But I'll let you know in another 10 years too 🫣

@Tiffany my point exactly. A man will do what he wants to do! I’m happy you married a better man.

@Christina🤱🏼🍂☕️♈️ your priorities are yours to decide but just remember in putting your child first that requires setting a healthy example of not just a mother but a wife or partner to their father so that they grow up to be upstanding partners to other people’s kids- raising your child to witness neglect towards their father emotionally or physically could present a flawed and unhealthy idea of marriage or partnership in your child’s dating life. Ofcourse the child won’t know that lack of intimacy is the source of the disconnect but they will surely sense and feel the disconnect at a young age and normalize it until they mature to make sense of the details. Now if the lack of drive is related to your parner’s lack of emotional support or availability then I totally understand and that calls for immediate open communication and resolution because at some point one of you will step out. Everything we do affects our children’s mentality because we are their first examples☮️

@Sadia 100% this

@Michelle umm sorry girl but u lost me after the first statement because if you’re having sex with the sole focus of keeping “side chicks” away then that isnot a very secure relationship nor a strong tactic to keep a man. You out here having sex that you don’t want to have because you’re worried about being cheated on?👀 u gonna be cheated on regardless if that man wants to sample other holes for an ego boost. Sex is suppose to be for pleasure and connection not to avoid being cheated on.. that mentality speaks to lack of trust or security in a relationship and makes sex more of a chore or obligation than something organic and fun.

@Sadia personally, I enjoy sex. I do it cos I enjoy it and the emotional connection. If I do not want to have sex with my partner, then I think it’s a red flag. I can’t imagine having a relationship and not wanting to have sex for a year.