in October 2024 Babies 🇺🇸

Husband thinks I should get over my postpartum anxiety

I had my first baby in October and have had a fair deal of postpartum anxiety. I think a lot of it is normal for being a first time mom. My husband has two kids from a previous relationship so he’s not as nervous about things as I am. He pretty frequently teases me about things like pretending to drop the baby. I’ve tried explaining how I feel many times over the last 6 months and had made the mistake at one point of telling him I take the longer way getting the baby out of the car when parking in our garage because there’s a shovel hanging on the way and I get scared I’ll bump it and it’ll fall on the baby. Now every time he puts the baby in the car he teases that the shovel is falling on the baby. He was tormenting me about something today and just now we talked about it and got in an argument. He said he does it so I can see I’m being crazy and that I need to not be so rigid and just relax. I said him doing these things just makes it worse, that I can’t just turn anxiety off. I don’t think he understands, he’s not a mother, it’s not his first child, and he went through no hormonal or physical changes. Honestly, it’s hard enough having a child with someone that has already had kids with someone else. But it’s even harder that I feel gaslight and not supported.

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If only it were easy to just get over your anxiety. My anxiety is very generalized, if it can go wrong then it will. I’m sorry your partner makes you feel that way. Now more than ever, we mothers need support and understanding while our minds and body’s go through this transformation. You can’t just get over it, it takes time. You’re not alone.

You’re not alone. Also had a baby in October and my postpartum anxiety peaked after month 4. In weekly postpartum therapy with Mavida. I do individual sessions and also in their post partum therapy group with 8 other women around the same time post partum and we are all still dealing with some form of PPD and PPA. My therapist mentioned it took us so many x months of hormonal and body changes to bring a baby earthside it’ll x month or more to heal. Besides puberty post birth is another great hormonal transition period. You don’t just “get over it” I’m so sorry your partner is not supportive.

It's really concerning that your husband is not only invalidating your feelings/experience but mocking you for them. It might be a good idea to seek counseling, for yourself and for the two of you as a couple. You deserve support through this change, not ridicule.

I’m sorry he’s not being supportive but my oldest is almost 4 and I still get anxiety and now with a second it’s on overdrive and I see my therapist biweekly as well as a parenting coach to help me find ways around it. It’s not something you just get over it’s a deep rooted fear that something you created could be hurt in anyway and that’s a normal fear that all new moms usually have.

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