— such as a comforting breast massage when you're feeling engorged, a back massage to ease the physical strain, or simply non-sexual touch that fosters connection.
...I could barely wait more than 2 weeks and was dying to do "other" things but my husband isn't very big on oral at all and very awkward about anything that isn't regular missionary sex. I joke I have to have a baby just to give him a bj. But your man should respect your feelings and boundaries. Just communicate to him how you feel. He just has wants and needs to but probably doesn't understand that you're frustrated by his advances
By 3 weeks I was giving my husband a bj. But he was sharing baby duties. Getting up with baby, making meals for me, making sure I got enough sleep, making sure I had time to shower and helping me with everything
It might help to first reflect on whether your partner has been actively fathering — not just "helping," but truly sharing the responsibilities of caring for your newborn. I ask this because if the mental and physical load has been falling mostly on you, there may be a deeper imbalance that needs attention before any conversation about intimacy can even begin. However, if he has been engaged and supportive, it might be worth explaining to him — in a way that doesn't provoke guilt — what your body and mind are currently going through. It’s possible that after witnessing the intensity of labour and the journey into parenthood, his love for you has deepened, and one way he’s trying to express that is through seeking physical closeness. Rather than framing his feelings or needs as wrong, you could guide him gently towards the kinds of intimacy that feel appropriate and supportive for you right now — such as a comforting breast massage when yo