Making mum friends as a person of colour

What area are you from if you don’t mind me asking? With that being said I do find baby groups etc are very clicky if you haven’t started off at the same time as the other mums, I found myself super isolated for weeks at sensory as the other mums (white and non white) have already made friends! Sorry you’ve experienced this x

This makes me sad. I would have no reservations !

No reservations here!Always up for a chat with a fellow Mum who seems interested in chatting 🙂

Also makes me sad! I. Up for being friends with anyone regardless!!! ❤️

I get what you mean, I experienced this during antenatal classes and I’d agree with @Aimee its clingy, don’t know if they have other reasons but you are definitely not imagining things❤️ and I’m also following to understand the reasons as well

@Aimee do you think where she is from has a role to play?

@Aimee I live in Cheshire. Where I live people are predominantly white middle class.

@Faith thank you! This is validating! X

@Faith yes this is definitely a possibility.

@Faith I definitely feel like people of colour are made to feel less welcomed/segregated in predominantly white areas, compared to as such of a multicultural area x

I’m so sorry to hear you’re experiencing this. I’m white and my new upstairs neighbours are a mixed couple, black wife and white husband, like your relationship. The wife just had a little baby boy a couple of weeks ago and I’m due in July. We have already made friends and I’m so grateful to have her as a fellow new mum. I don’t understand people who exclude others, whether it’s intentional or just thoughtlessness. I wonder if it could also be age? I’m going to be an older first time mum at 45 and have no reservations talking to new people. I wonder if younger mums feel more insecure or shy?

I have stopped going to baby groups as I do find mums can be abit clicky. I always feel like I have to force conversations with other mums who are white, because if I didnt then we would then just be sitting there in silence. It's was like they were afraid to speak to me. I recently went to my babies 9-12 month review and the health advisor told me I should make a effort to join groups for my baby. I'm done with making an effort. My baby will start nursery soon she will be able to get social interaction with other babies there. Incognito I defo understand were you are coming from. xx

Im Sorry you experienced this. Must feel so lonely. I have read that non white feel excluded, especially baby groups. When i attended baby classes, I made sure to include non white mums. If anyone wishes to message, feel free. I'm in Lincoln probably a bit of a distance

@Claire that's lovely of you! X I am an older mum. I am 36 years old. And most of the mums in my group seem to be( I can only assume) are probably in theirs 30s, 40s or late 20s

@Nicole I am very sorry you experienced this and this is exactly how I feel. I am the only non white mum in sensory groups and I try to chat to them but as soon their other white mums join or even a new white person sit next to them, they immediately chat among each other. It is very discouraging, and I have to force myself to go to the classes because it is good for the baby!

@Michelle thank you! It make me worry about my baby. I didn't grow up in UK so I didn't go to school here. I wonder what her experience would be like at school. She is mixed raced, so I worry she will experience similar situations at school. Me and my husband and I even discussed that perhaps it is better to send her to private school.

You’re still young! So not age then if the classes have a mixture of ages :( We can all learn so much from each other, it’s sad. Very happy to message too X Ps. My partner is Indian and my baby will be both of us, mixed race and I worry too about school. I’m reading a great book called ‘Both not half’ at the moment to understand more about mixed identity children’s experiences.

Im sorry that this has been your experience. I live in a multicultural area and I feel the group I attend is somewhat reflective of the area I am in. The friendship groups within the class are culturally mixed. I’m sorry that the white women in your area have excluded you and made you feel this way. From my own personal experience, I have found baby groups clicky. People will be polite and say hello but that’s as far as it goes then they settle into their friendship groups. I did eventually make a friend, but she started a good 8 weeks after me so I did go through all that time sat alone feeling somewhat uncomfortable

Aww man, Incognito, that really bites. I’m so sorry you (and some others) have had this experience- and I’m grateful you're speaking up about it, because it’s how awareness grows and things get better. Maybe it’s because I’m London-based and still expecting (due in June), but so far I’ve made mom friends of all backgrounds through work and Peanut. My antenatal class has been inclusive too, which makes me hopeful. Our babies will be a beautiful mix of cultures! Having grown up in South Africa, I’m always aware that race can be an issue, and I know I’ll need to guide my bi-racial daughter through it with strength and grace- even though it hurts that it’s necessary. Please keep your head high and heart strong. You and your little one absolutely belong. ❤️

It's the same in my area. Baby groups seem to very clicky sadly. I've only been 2 or 3 times and to be honest I go for my little one to get used to being around people and also because the ladies who organise it are ever so nice x always happy to see me and my little girl x Sorry you've experienced that x

This makes me so sad! People should be friends regardless. Mums have so much in common regardless of colour! I hope you’re okay girl! Xxx