Has anyone ever not wanted other kids at b day party...

I can speak to the stress to the stress of first bday I’m planning unlimited it too smaller kids bc I don’t have anything for older kids to do

@Kara yes I feel ya. Mines the opposite, there won't be anything for younger kids to do

I've got 2 kids and I don't think it's wrong for you to not want her other 3 kids there. When my 5 year old is invited to parties, I always let the parents know that it would be contingent on if I can secure a babysitter or bring my 2 year old. I personally would not want to have an additional 3 kids there that are younger. Can you reach back out and say that since it's at your mom's house you dont have enough space for everyone and then do what you said and pick up/drop off the friend? Do the cake the day before, the set up and decorations can be done days prior so that you can just concentrate on the things that absolutely have to be done the day of.

Also, I think in the future that you should work on being more secure in your decisions, and if you are unsure, ask to get back to them until you're ready to respond. You do not have to be pressured to respond to something immediately. You can always say, "Let me get back to you on that."

@Anjali yes, setting boundaries and sticking to them will give you peace in the long run. You can politely state the fact re: size of your mom’s living room and then counteroffer a play date for some other date this summer 🥴. I would be annoyed that the other mom asked me that but yes setting boundaries are important.

I guess it might be different in the US but my 7 year old went to a birthday party recently and I just left her there. (I knew the parents, it’s down the road and my 7 year old was insistent I leave her). I wouldn’t dream of dropping off her brother as well even if he was younger. They are ten not 5/6.

@Anjali I agree thank you. Good response lol I freaked out because we were in the chat together and she knew I saw the message so I felt pressured to say something fast. Honestly I never expected her to ask me that either Since I had said originally only two it really took me off guard that she asked. And I was afraid she would say that The girl couldn't come at all then And then my kid would end up sad.

@Alex Yes Facts. I should have said that was the reason in the beginning. No I just. Feel awkward.

@Karen I agree, and I have known them for years.It would not be weird to just leave her there. I don't understand what is going on or why the whole family needs to show up L o l But I do feel bad for some reason for even saying or thinking this way

Did something happen where now she has to be there and the other siblings, was the mom part of the invite or did she decide to attend with her daughter and the father was to watch the other three? I think k you did well with the offer to pick the girl up and then drip her off. That gives your daughter a little more time with the friend. I'm shocked no one else is helping you plan the birthday party when you have an infant on the hip. I can say I remember being dropped off and then waiting for my parents to pick me up when it came to friend events. Specially at the 8 to 10 or even as a preteen. Maybe ask why the other three have to be there when you planned for only so many people and kids.

@Sarah I guess maybe her husband will be at work and kind of a drive since we dont live in the same town but close by towns. But i hope she lets me just get her and bring her back.. otherwise I guess I will just hope everything goes well regardless I know tho I wish I did have some help 😪 single mom life tho I'm used to it. I'm crossing my fingers that my sister will pick up balloons for me and at least help with that part 😅 it's a lot

I was also going to add that you said this is happening at your mom's. It's her living space. She's allowed her restrictions to

@Sarah yea that was one of the things. But we both didn't want to chance her saying the friend wasn't gonna be able to come at all (my daughter really only has the 2 good friends in general)

I understand being caught off guard. I still give in because I feel like I'm expected to, especially when feeling under pressure. You're trying to do so much for your kiddos. Living with your parents is not easy either. You are doing an awesome job. If baking a cake is too much work - store bought is fine.

@Anjali yea it happens. I think I've spoiled her just a bit(she's a great sweet kid so not in a bad way) but she wants me to bake this special (frog) cake so I will try this time lol if it's a fail we will have cupcakes on back up

You're not wrong at all. I hate it when parent think is okay to dump all their kids at a party they weren't invited to just to get a break. I would've made it clear that you only wanted her 2 friends because of space and also having a lil one of your own.