What is your routine like with your partner and new baby

When my first was born my partner had to go back to work straight away so it was basically all on me after a c section too. We struggled getting into a routine that worked for a while but ended up I’d be so tbh her all day from the minute she woke up, then once my partner got home from work she’d spend some time with her and do her last feed before bed etc and put her to down for the night. Then as I breastfed I’d do all the night feeds while he slept for work the next day

Baby is asleep at night (at least for some of it!) so you don’t need to be ‘on shift’ all the time. I look after the baby during the day, my partner will do bath and spend some time with baby in the evening, then we all go to bed and we share the feeds at night. Even if you’re exclusively breastfeeding your partner can help with nappies and settling the baby after feeds during the night.

I have the newborn all day and night. He has the toddler. I definitely have it easier.

I haven’t had my own baby yet, but did babysit a lot and have a sister that was born 15 years after me - so I took on a lot of her care. I can say confidently it will depend a lot on how your baby is and how you are feeling. It’s not uncommon to have baby blues when you’ve just given birth (also not uncommon to have postpartum depression, anxiety or ocd, but midwives from the perinatal mental health team can help you with those if it comes to it) and those first weeks can be really tough because of that, meaning you may need your partner more than you expect. You’ll be going through a lot of hormonal changes yourself that only get totally back to normal after 1 year, but they are very intense in the beginning. Connection/bonding with baby may also be a bit of a struggle in those first weeks- and that’s completely normal. If your partner can take his parental leave, it will be really helpful. I’m not saying this to scare you, some people manage it just fine on their own, +

@Elizabeth you should like you have a dream baby, how do you do this?? My 5 week old will not be put down, and doesn't seem to want to sleep more than about 15 mins at a time, so my husband is doing 9-1am so I can sleep, and then I am doing the rest of the night with him. And we share they day. I am BF, but expressing for one bottle my husband can give around midnight. Tell me your secrets!!

but majority of women do experience baby blues and a “strange” beginning of the fourth trimester. If you have tools to prepare you for that and if you can count on friends and family that can help a lot to have some sort of schedule, but it does seem quite a lot to take on to stay on your own with baby from 9am till 3am on the first few weeks. It might be best for you 2 to see when you both can help each other and how in terms of having a few breaks in between at least until you’re a bit more comfortable with yourself and baby. Please don’t be scared by this, again, it doesn’t happen to every woman, but it’s good to be prepared if it does. My mum had it both with my brother and my sister and a few friends had it too and the feeling they described was of being overwhelmed and that they wish they had prepared a bit more support for those days

My partner works full-time leaves the house between 8 am and 7 pm, so baby is pretty much with me all the time. My partner often bath the baby whilst I make the dinner when he gets home from work. Night time again is on me but that is mainly because I’m breastfeeding. I don’t see the point of my partner being woken up when there’s not much he can do anyway and he needs to be up for work the next day. so yeah, during the week the care is pretty much on me, which is absolutely fine. Weekends are a bit different and my partner is much more hands-on. I’ve chosen to breastfeed so automatically that means a lot of it is on me, it’s just how it is. You will find your rhythm I can tell you now it won’t happen automatically. It takes a good few weeks until you are both settled into your new roles and ways of doing things

@Lucie yes we are same as you - breastfeeding but then I do one bottle of expressed milk for my husband to give at night. No secret I can share, we have some terrible nights for sure! But our little girl will sleep around 3-4 hours at night so I typically do a final feed approx 9.30pm, my husband then gives the expressed bottle around 1am, then I feed around 4am and again when we get up at like 6/7am. Our baby is 4 months Oh I do have a secret to share! The best tip is to sleep in a separate bedroom to you partner. So my husband will sleep in the same room as baby for the first half of the night and I’ll sleep with baby for the second half of the night. This means you can actually properly switch off and have a few good hours sleep as newborns can be very grunty and noisy when they’re asleep! If baby needs feeding during my husbands shift with her, he’ll bring her to me and I’ll breastfeed, and then he’ll take her back to his room to settle etc until my shift starts. It’s THE DREAM

My situation is a lot different because my partner works shift work so just took shifts with her when he could but it wasn’t often. I will say that as a mom, you “Just do it”. There were plenty of days/nights that I was home alone or he needed to sleep before being up for work in the morning. I found that I was able to function on way less sleep than I thought I needed 😂 if you have any family or friends around, LET THEM HELP! Everyone always says “Let me know if there is anything I can do” but we often just brush it off and don’t ask. If you have anyone available, have them hang out for a couple of hours in the middle of the day from time to time and get a bonus nap in ❤️

My partner works 9-5, I EBF so all feeds on me! To help he will do night nappies and after work nappies, also we both get some of the evening to ourselves. So after dinner while LO is still awake he will spend time with him alone and then once it's time for his first night sleep I take him back x

@Elizabeth great tips! Thank you. Good idea about bringing them in to BF, I think we may try that and see how it goes! Just wish I could put mine in a cot without him screaming the place down 🤣

My husband works 4 days a week 7:30 til 5:30. On his days off he helps with night changes and bottle feeds as well as during the day (I express). On his work days I get up when she wakes which can be as late as 9:30 if I'm lucky. I pump and feed baby, change her nappy and change babies clothes if they need it (i usually change her outfit the night before) get dressed, brush my teeth, heat up the kettle for the thermos and fill bottle and place ice pack in the backpack and wash and shove my pump into my microwave bag ready for going out. My baby eats every 3and a half hours to 4 hours. I make sure my backpack has everything I need when I return from every trip out so that's one less thing to check before I leave. I then go out either for a walk around my village or I go to town and get a coffee & a walk before returning. I pick my husband up from work & he feeds her for her last two feeds. & cook dinner

With my first my partner would do the late feed around 11pm and he’d do the early morning feed at 6am, as he was up for work around 7am anyway and he’s an early riser . I would do the middle of the night feeds at 3/4am and if partner was in the office I would look after baby once he left at 8am till he got home at 5pm, if he was working from home we would take turns looking after baby and work around him working/meetings and meal times etc. we found it worked for us as my partner doesn’t do well on broken sleep, and it worked that he was only getting up a bit earlier most the time, plus I preferred to go to bed early/sleep in a little. my second was harder as she was fully breast fed so all feeds where on me but my partner had our toddler to look after when he got home from work and durning the night etc. this time around we plan to combine feed and do similar to the first

I do all the night shifts do he can sleep. During the day I make sure I pump at least 2 bottles worth, so that when hubby is home he can so some of tbe feedings while I relax, shower, make dinner

We had no set shifts and whilst hubby was amazing at taking over when he was at bome, I breastfed so did the lionshare. I did all night shifts myself, but knew if I needed help I just had to wake him. But he would often do 16+hour shifts so just wasn’t fair to ask him to do nights too.

My partner works and I’m still on maternity leave and breastfeeding. I look after my baby more or less all week but my partner cooks dinner and tidys up in the evenings. At the weekend he’ll take baby for a few hours or get up with him in the morning if I want a lie in. I do all the night feeds/wakes myself and have done since my partner returned to work after paternity. I don’t see the point in both of us losing sleep x

My OH is a night owl so when baby was newborn I went to bed at 9, he would do night feed. Then bring LO to bed about 2/3 after his last feed. Then I'd be up from 5ish, first feed but LO woukd then go back to sleep about an hour later, so I could either nod or grab a shower When he was older, I'd do bedtime feed then OH would do night time feed at 1ish and then go to bed It's finding something that works for you all

Partner does bath and bedtime after work but I always did all night wakes as he was working, will be the same for round 2 but he’ll def be in charge of our 1yr old when he gets home from work to bedtime