How do you deal with tantrums/kicking?

I have an extremely energetic and active 2.5yo that just has too many things she wants to do during the day and if you interrupt her she throws a tantrum. Any mentioning of the word “no” or even a normal conversation such as “you can’t have ice cream now but if you eat lunch you can have it for desert” just trigger a meltdown where she cries, screams and kicks. While she doesn’t hit, the kicks during the tantrums are worrying my husband as we’re trying for another baby and he’s afraid she would kick me. Also we can’t even read her a book. She just pulls it and says “My book” and if we get it back to read to her she throws another tantrum, but if we let her have the book she instantly rips is. When I see all other kids her age they’re all calm and shy… I have an ADHD tornado that can’t keep her attention on any toy more than 2 sec. Any idea how to deal with those two things?

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@Mallory Sadly walking away hasn’t helped. Putting her in the corner helps and she does sit till I call her back (about 1min) and she does say Mommy I’m sorry but that doesn’t mean that a new tantrum won’t follow in 10 sec :D We have a big playroom and rotate toys but her attention span is the same of a goldfish.. picks a toy up and in 2sec instantly drops it and goes to the next one. There’s just two things that keep her attention: her kitchen and her Lego with 10000 pieces :D We even bought the indestructible books… destroyed them all in a day :D We put all her books on wall mounted bookshelves but she’s so tall that she’s reaching them now. I can’t believe some kids her age have those wooden bookshelves on the ground without destroying all books. She even knows how to climbs all her tall dressers by stepping on top of the handles so now we don’t have handles anymore. Today I found her sitting on top of her dresser, in a nest of wet wipes squirting lotion on her Hatch. :D

I made a cozy corner in my living room. And if he does this I sit him there and say you can come out when you have a calm body. And he does well with that

I found that getting angry and yelling doesn't help. I get on the child's level and talk to them in a calm voice about what is acceptable behavior, and there will be this consequence if you do such and such. Stay calm and consistent. I understand she's only 2.5 years old, so you can keep the conversation easy for her to understand, but make sure you keep your word. So if you say you need to sit down for 2 minutes, follow through with it. I say all of this from my personal experience. I had to learn the hard way that I can't let my children get over on me bc I feel bad or whatever and then wonder why they don't listen or take me seriously. I had to re-establish the authority type figure and get my children to understand that I mean business when I say something. My two oldest children were eventually diagnosed with adhd around age 7. Nobody would take me seriously until my daughter failed the first grade, and teachers were concerned that she had it and wrote a letter for me to show the neurologist. Good luck!