Is it just me??

FTM here. LO turned one a month ago and has been throwing more tantrums. I still feel easily triggered when hearing my baby cry and have felt lately very overstimulated. The combo of being triggered and overstimulated I feel is a lot and I’m having trouble regulating my own emotions and getting easily irritated if baby cries if I take something away or redirect. I’ve been losing my cool and feel bad immediately after. Am I the only one struggling with how hard toddlerhood is? Am I a bad mom? What do ya’ll do to keep your cool??

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Also I dislike feeding bc it’s so messy and LO cries so much during clean up. This tends to be most often when I lose my cool

I'm right there with you

You aren’t a bad mom, everyone gets annoyed…. But I mean your baby is going to eat real food so you will have to get over this

@Ali I know! Doesn’t happen every time. Do you have anything that helps you keep your cool?

When I was young before kids I was OCD about my house…. But you just have to remember that it’s just a phase. Your baby is going to eat and make a big mess. It’s going to be a lot more work for a couple years regarding the mess. But it’s not their fault. Get a sweeper vacuum and try to do that, and clean after every meal or two. Take them out of their chair once they start throwing food around on the floor. Either way it’s messy

I feel you! My son just turned one as well, and I do find that the crying and fussing has intensified. It’s almost like he’s suddenly so much more aware of things and trying so hard to communicate that he gets frustrated - and then throws toys, throws good, cries when I pick him up, cries when I put him down, etc. Sometimes in those moments I feel like no matter what I do he’s upset. It’s definitely hard to be patient at all times, but I try to just take a deep breath, calm my emotions and do something tried and true that I know will make him laugh. I try and remember that he feeds off my energy and the more upset I get the more upset he’ll be too. But it’s really hard at times! You’re not alone!

@Jess thank you for this kind message. I know what you mean, they don’t know how to communicate, everything is still so new and they are figuring things out. I find it hard to ground myself and remember this during challenging parenting moments. I’m going to try to take more deep breathes and remember this when things get hard

@Tanya thank you for your message! It’s nice to know I’m not alone

@Ali thank you! Definitely clean up after every meal. I think solo parenting is hard and I don’t have a village to count on. It gets the best of me sometimes. I know eating will be a messy challenge for a while. It’s been a challenge for us honestly since birth. LO has never been a good eater / and low %ile but slowly getting better and more confident with it. Appreciate your insight

One piece of advice as a second time mom: Go outside! Take advantage of the warm weather and let your baby play on the porch or backyard. My grandmother always jokes and says dogs and kids are the same: they both prefer to be outdoors😅 Being inside all day can have a negative effect on us adults much less small children. I have a small sundeck and I make sure there's nothing where she can get hurt. I even have a kids water table and she loves playing with water. I then just let her roam around outside while I sit and drink my coffee peacefully inside. Or you can fill a bucket with water, throw in some random toys and that should keep your LO entertained for atleast half an hour while you rest.