Iām not much help. My bf is struggling with drinking and while heās never threatened me or anything violent in general. He does get in his head and work up stories to the point heāll leave for the night and say things like heāll get his stuff the next day or have a good life like itās over, but never actually say it is. I donāt like it.
He needs psychological help. Just because he doesn't act like that sober doesn't mean he doesn't think like that all the time. He needs to get professional help or you need to leave....
@Jenny I appreciate the advice. Thank you š«¶
@Ashley he even questioned if our baby is his. I'm like what in the actual fuck š
Iāve been here, several times. Itās so easy for an outsider to say leave him, move on, but itās not that simple when youāre in the situation. Iām still with my other half and he has, thankfully come off the booze, the majority of the timeā¦ used to be every night. He still has an occasional blow out. Iāve told him though if he ever does it ever again in front of my little one then thatās it, itās an ultimatum I know but heās only gotten hammered once in front of my boy when he was only a few weeks old. Not again since but he has at his mums. Sadly with booze it has to come from the person wanting to stop. They wonāt if someone else begs them to, in my experience anyway. The recording thing is a good idea, if it happens again Iād do that again, and have a very serious conversation with him when heās sober showing him the recording and telling him how it makes you feel. His MH is NOT your responsibility and it took me a while to realise that. Donāt let him make you feel like youāre
The reason heād ever hurt himself āwell you were out of my league anywayā itās his issue and his lack of confidence which is not yours to fix. Iām sure youāve tried endlessly. Iād say itās no longer about him and you but itās about your kid(s) now and they have to come first - Iām sure sober him wouldnāt want his kids brought up in a toxic household either. Ids so difficult but youāll look back on this one day and know you made the right decision x
@Emily the binging doesn't happen alot but ive never actually feared him and being a mom has changed me. It's doesn't just affect me or him, there's kids involved. I told him I want him to listen to the whole video. I think he's ashamed to but I believe it's the only way for him to understand where I'm coming from. Sometimes I think he thinks I'm trying to control him when that's not the case. If he could handle it, it wouldn't bother me. I understand people drink or smoke to unwind but the shit he pulled last night. Not cool. Thank you for your perspective. It's very helpful to hear experience. Or read about it š
Itās so difficult I honestly feel you, hopefully he will listen to it, if he doesnāt want to then he clearly feels guilty about it! Exactly that, itās involving kids now and itās not fair on them , sending lots of love and best wishes x
I would say set clear boundaries with him when he is sober and get him to understand them, agree with them and commit to them. Make sure he knows you were scared. If he breaks them you leave. And you commit to yourself to leave if he oversteps. Thatās the only way he will take it seriously or change. Iām sorry youāre in this position itās really awful xx