Myself and partner work together on this. He gets paid, takes the money for his bills and puts the rest on joint account. I love my SMP and child benefit into the joint account. We pay all of our bills and then whatever we are left with is the budget to live on. Weāve cut down on takeaways/eating out, we donāt go on as many days out as we did and visit family on weekends, majority of babys clothes in bigger sizes I have brought off Vinted and same as most of his toys. Iām also waiting to hear back from UC because my pay drops to 0 in a month or so and baby is still really little as I went on MAT leave early because I was really unwell with preeclampsia. If UC come back and canāt help, then Iām looking at finding part time work somewhere to get us through x
@Kerry This is what Iāve tried to say to him but he just doesnāt seem to see my point of view. Iāve explained the cost of childcare to him and I think heād rather put her in a nursery at 4 months old and me go back on full pay as by the time on statutory pay Iāll be losing about Ā£2200 š
@Casey I think Iām going to have to do the same, itās so hard š We barely go on days out and I already get so much of her stuff off Vinted but it doesnāt really cost me anything as I use credit from what Iāve sold. Keep going mama! Fingers crossed youāll get some UC š¤š¼š¤š¼ x
I just don't understand men like this I'm sorry. He should be stepping up and supporting his family. I assume he wanted this baby too?! But he's happy to sit by and watch his partner struggle whilst at home bringing up their baby. The mind boggles but I would be seriously considering the type of person he is and if this is someone I want a relationship with if my partner was this childish
@Kerry It is making me question it. Baby was unplanned but we both wanted her when we discussed at the start. Guess it makes you see them in a different light when situations like this occur
Yeah definitely, I hope you are ok anyway and can figure something out x
I have a bit less than Ā£800 SMP. Partner get Ā£2200 monthly. Around Ā£350 from UC. All bills at around Ā£1500. The rest stays for food, fuel, my older sons school meals, football stuff.... we have around Ā£3000 on credit cards combined. We don't go out. We don't buy things We don't need to. It's hard, very hard...
@Dragon mummy This is very similar to us money wise. I have Ā£2000 on a credit card which Iām trying to not use whereas heās very lucky and has a hell of a lot more in savings than me and no debts, but guess he wonāt use them š
@Dragon mummy hi, can we claim UC whilst on SMP? Xx
@Sian ofcourse you can. š
I would send him a bill for the cost of hiring your body for 9months to grow his child, then expenses for loss of pelvic floor (they are expensive!), fees for 24hr childcare etc and try and get him to see that his financial contribution is the very least he can do at the moment!
@Emily Haha I love that š Going to try my best to get him to see things from my point of view š¤š¼
Iām about to go onto statutory but weāve planned for it. Iām still contributing to the house bills but like half of it, and heās putting the rest up. Heās also paying half of all The money weāre spending on baby classes etc as he knows itās good for babies development. Iāve saved about Ā£2000 from my enhanced to contribute for the months Iām on stat for bills but also for me to have some spending money. But tbh if I say no I canāt afford something heāll either lay it he really wants us to do it or heāll say just owe me some money when youāre back at work. Whilst weād been trying weād decided to take a break from ttc so baby was a little surprise; so Im going back to work when my statutory pay ends, but taking a full month as holiday so I get full pay too. The crux of it will be when I actually get paid stat thoughā¦..
I get two lots of SMP. Full amount from my first job and Ā£480 a month on my second little part time job. I then get Ā£170 a month child benefit for both children. My first job is term time only and so my wages are topped up monthly with holiday pay of around Ā£210. My outgoings to cover my half of the house and my personal bills are Ā£1627. My SMP etc covers all of that minus around Ā£110. I saved up prior to going on maternity leave and so I have around Ā£520 a month left for āfunā ākids needsā money. Itās tough! If I didnāt have my savings or two SMPās I would not be surviving. I am only taking 8 months off. As I did with my first. Iām not built to stay at home. Im built to work š¤£ if you are struggling your husband has to pay up. Itās not fair on you!
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Not to put this too bluntly but maybe your partner should have thought about this before deciding to have a baby with you! š¤· You are on maternity to bring up your child he should be supporting your more. We luckily get a really good maternity pay from my work which is set to end next month so my husband has started putting himself down to do overtime at work to try and pick up the money we will be losing. Your relationship is meant to be a partnership and a team effort he needs to know that x
@Kerry šÆ!!!!
@Dragon mummy can I ask a question about UC? I've never claimed as never been able to due to use 'earning too much' but you say your partner comes out with 2200 and you on SPM of 800 and your able to claim? Just wondering I should look into this when my full pay drop this month to SMP? š¤ Are are able to only claim for a couple of month?? Also my husbands wage isn't as high as yours..
@Dragon mummy I did not know this, we've been struggling terribly as my basic SMP started pretty much right away. Thanks so much, will check it out xx
@Sharon we used to earn too much. Once I started my mat leave the started to pay us money. Everyone's circumstances are different. We also have a 14yo and we rent a house. So we have house element and two children element. I'm happy to help so ask if you want. Also started your claim ASAP as it takes around 5-6 weeks for first payment and even if the first one will be Ā£0 once you start basic smp you might get some money. Drop me a message if you want
Sorry but your partner should be stepping up and covering the household bills - it takes two to make a baby and not fair for you alone to bare the financial strain of being on SMP
I've been on SMP since the start, losing around Ā£1500 a month, no idea how we're surviving but we're just about scraping by. Universal credit won't help because my partner earns too much. Why wouldn't your partner pay more? It's his baby too right?!