Vent Alert/ No Judgement

Okay mamas someone please help calm my nerves. I know this will seem ungrateful and luckily I have a therapy appointment tomorrow but I am struggling really bad. I am a solo parent to a wonderful toddler and expecting in about 8 more weeks with c section scheduled in 5 weeks. My emotions are all over the place because I feel like I am not a great mom since I have been pregnant. Back story I got divorced right before the Tod was born and ex was in our lives for exactly 1 year to the date then he abandoned us with no calls or text just child support and that’s it. I then decided that I wanted to give my baby a sibling and went for it so had to do some things and jump through lots of legal BS but here we are. Problem is now that I am almost delivering I am so scared of doing this solo and while I make great money and can pay daycares and afford some help I don’t know how I plan to do this. I question myself a lot and cry so much because I don’t know if I made the right decision even though I know I did my baby needed a chance at life. On some days I am excited that they will have each other, we can travel together etc but it’s a lot especially because toddler is a handful and I just feel like I yell all the time. I know this is long and all over the place but please pray for me, encourage me, send me happy thoughts etc. I need it. Don’t forget my well paying job is super stressful and work with a bunch of mean girls so this year has been terrible at work but luckily I can go on leave in a week or so to nest and get ready for baby. Also don’t forget I am still angry that my ex broke our family and walked out after all the shit I had put up with. Great riddance but I never wished for my kiddos to grow up in a solo parent household and dad not be available even for a FaceTime call. I have what I consider a good support system with friends but family lives so far away so that’s that plus I am tired of people not respecting boundaries when it comes to my kids so……. Signed, A stressed, tired, cried out, scared, unsure solo parent who needs a hug or 10.