@Teah We are not together but still live together and he claims he want his family sometimes but doesn't change anything. My kids are 2 and 5. Haven't really had any luck finding a good group. I don't get any breaks at all. I'm running a small business while fully taking care of my kids alone and all the money I make goes back into the business or household item or the kids and I even try to pay utilities when I can. But I'm working on budgeting and saving more. On top of that the dad doesn't help at all just pays bills
Yeah I get that 😞 you definitely don't need to add more work on to your full load already. Concentrate on spending time with your babies and try to find other mums who can support you. Even if it's just going to their house for a cuppa! I think you and baby dad need to have a chat about what you need from him. He should be working and supporting his family. It may be tiring or boring, but moaning about that to you and asking you to work even though you have the babies, isn't fair. My partner moans about his long shifts, being tired etc. and wanting to rest at the weekend. And it annoys me, because I may not work all day, but I have a newborn and toddler at home, plus a teenager, and his daughter at weekends, I'm studying, looking after house, cooking, paying bills and rent... I don't have a break. They don't get the emotional and physical drain
Sooo if you don’t trust anybody with yo kids not even his people then where is yo family ?
@Aniya I don't have any family everyone's deceased. I have god parents but their on the other side of the United States.
So u telling me you don’t got no friend you grow up with or no fav cousins or just cousins that you been around as a child and you telling me you don’t have no siblings? Because not being rude but people say all the time they have nobody but yet they do they just pick to say they don’t trust me I said it before and had people
@Aniya Yeah ,it's coming off as rude. Deceased means dead no longer living I do not have family only 2 god parents that live thousands of miles away.
I feel like I was in the same boat I say was because I stopped enabling this man to be an absent parent You may wanna consider forcing him to help you more I know you mentioned you don't trust him I don't trust mine either However I put cameras in the house that holds him accountable It may be best to consider moving closer to your support system I'm in Miami my sister is 3000 miles away in Seattle We are going to stay with her for 10 days as a trial run to see if we will be comfortable living with her As my son's dad is helping ALOT more after I forced it , However our relationship is just coming to an end im tired of settling for less than I deserve I'm not staying for a child I deserve happiness and my son deserves the best version of me I hope this helps
@Priscilla Thank you! Whenever tell him what I need help with or he doesn't do he plays victim so I guess I need a different approach. Also do you have any recommendations for cameras? I don't have a support system but I am saving as much as I can to move. Because I definitely want to be the best version for them and him and his family literally stressing me out. I'm happy you have that and hope it works out for you😊
Thank you and I use the ring cameras, yea my guy would do the same thing play victim so I stopped asking and started telling him! I would literally leave out tell him if be back in an hour or two baby already ate at whatever time and I will fee when I get back as I'm nursing and you should have seen the instant change and respect because it's not easy and they don't get it until they experience it raw like we do without help
The two God parent you have maybe move closer to them, again I only have my sister that's not exactly a support system but she's a big willing helper, however she's disabled not really working on section 8 just had lung cancer removed and now has another type of cancer 🥲 So am I worried she may not be able to help as much or even around much longer yes and I hate to think like that but I have to make sure I'll be ok and not stuck if something happened and you know what I think I wanna get some life insurance for her that would be a good security blanket sigh My sis is so young tho she's 39 🥲 Pray for her please
@Priscilla I've been thinking about getting a ring camera or something more hidden. Yeah mines would sleep, smoke or drink the whole time so I really don't trust leaving them with him or his family and he suggested moving closer to his family so we can have a babysitter but they have the same issues if not worse
@Priscilla Sorry to hear that about your sister she sounds very strong just try to stay positive and it's great you have help in general. I'm not on good terms with my god parents right now
Yea i understand my guy drinks alot but it's more like self medicating he's just kinda wrecklace or I'm just too precautious he takes unnecessary risk like leaving baby alone with dog even just to the bathroom but it's not safe and they are reactive and like to walk all over people they will hurt my baby Anyway I really wish there was a group or a support network for moms wanting to help other moms like we could move in together and be each other's support
Are you together? How old are your kids? There were some great groups I was part of when my son was home ed. And some of those parents helped each other with childcare. And there were often sessions I could leave him at, like sport days at leisure centres etc It's important for you to have a break for your mental health And with work? Do you want to or is he just asking you to? Because you do what you want/need. If you do want work, look at work from home roles? Your kids will work around your routine (with a bit of practice) I was making time to do online courses and my daughter would know that was her time to play with puzzles, watch TV etc and we would do something together after