How's everyone getting on?

How are you ladies getting on?
I finally feel like we're coming up for air and I'm enjoying being a mum.
The first 12 weeks of babies life were the worst 12 weeks of my life. I felt like I was drowning.
My partner was diagnosed with post natal depression, our friends and family didn't understand as it's not as common in men which was heartbreaking.
I felt like a single mum and also a carer for my other half who couldn't even get out of bed.
And now, 5 months since he was born, life is coming together and our little boy is the best thing that's ever happened to us.
I just wanted to share this because for anyone struggling or going through something similar, it does get better and you're doing amazing.

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I'm glad things are getting better for you parenthood is never easy especially when you don't have support system your doing an amazing job

Tough and tiring at times. Glad it's getting better for you

I really struggled my self with the first 12 weeks. Week 1 and 2 were fine but then after that I think I definitely had/have post natal depression. Week 6-8 was the absolute worst but everything is starting to feel more normal now with baby getting a bit bigger and us learning each other.
Me and my partners relationship definitely suffered and I can see why people split up after having children.
I'm starting to enjoy being a mom now as it's not as intense and my mental health is a lot better. It's not perfect but definitely much better. I hated it when I was in the thick of the newborn stage and everyone was like it gets better🤣 but it actually does get better xxx

I feel like it's so healthy to say you struggled. Everybody I spoke to pre baby made out newborn phase is bliss, a perfect baby bubble. I hated every moment of it and felt like I was failing because my friends loved it. But now he's got a little personality and makes everything better 🩵

We definitely considered breaking up. I didn't think we'd get through it

I’ve had/have pnd it’s been the worst experience ever not once did I ever think I’d suffer in such a negative way before giving birth I thought it would all be lovely and happy and I’d enjoy being a new mum and instantly have this whoosh of love for my baby but unfortunately it’s been the total opposite. My Baby is now just over 5 months and my mood and teariness is definitely improving I’m not finding that I’m randomly crying whilst we are out and about and looking like a crazy person so things must be getting better. It’s so important to just be honest that’s what I have found and my health visitor was amazing she done so many referrals for us to go to groups to meet other mums who are also struggling and the support from them and the helpers there and my partner & family have been crucial I honestly don’t no where I’d be if I didn’t have the support from everyone. I felt and still do some days feel guilty and horrible for not loving the days but same as you it’s getting better now 💕

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Wdy think of this for a toddler to learn word construction?

I'm open to anything else to start teaching him to read and write. He's 3!

Do men really enjoy fellatio?

Been together more than 10 years, but it's been a while since he even seemed remotely interested in me getting on my knees, or vice versa so to speak. I think it was once last year. Must be something I am doing wrong 🤔. Generally everything else in that department is great and we have two young kids with no extra support, so it's quite surprising we can't keep our hands off each other but may need to try new things. It's basically 2 positions each time with some foreplay.

I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realized…

This is such a ramble but I don’t know where else to put it all.

I’m four months in and I don’t really have hobbies right now. I don’t do anything for myself except maybe doomscrolling or listening to a podcast while I breastfeed my baby. I used to craft and have game nights with friends. Activities that usually are at least 2 hour stretches. Now if I have an hour free my mind immediately goes to baby, or doing something in the house for baby.

And I thought I didn’t mind. Like I knew postpartum could be very mentally consuming. But I think it’s altering how I view people around me and it’s prodding at my relationship with my husband.

He spends most of his time making food for us, looking after our dogs, playing with the baby, ect. But he still has time for his hobby. Spends maybe an hour a night on it. Even adapted to using a bot for shopping for his hobby after a certain incident where we had to have a heart to heart after he left me home alone with the baby for hours during a busy workday (I work from home) to shop for his hobby.

And yet there’s like this little green eyed monster in me that rages every time I know he’s running off to start up the bot. Even though I’m the reason he does it this way.

We took a family trip last weekend to see his best friend and their kids and let them meet the baby. He brought the laptop. He’s always brought a laptop on trips and it’s never been a problem to me before. But one night we both woke up while the baby was still asleep, and he wandered out of the room. I tried to fall back asleep but couldn’t. So I went to the kitchen to try having something warm to drink to settle me. And he was there at the table running the bot from his laptop. I flipped out at him. But there really wasn’t reason to. It’s not like I needed help with the baby and he was ignoring me. He wasn’t avoiding our friends. He was just awake and unable to sleep and found something to do with his time. Yet my snap reaction was “why the hell would you do this on a family trip?”

I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the less complete sleep from baby’s middle of the night feed? My brain being just consumed by baby? Maybe I’m not as over that shopping incident as I thought? But I’m just so annoyed at his hobby right now. The green eyed monster thinks “you could be using that time differently” but realistically to do what exactly??? Stare at our baby in the dark???

I spent probably an hour apologizing to him after I snapped. And he’s of course hurt and frustrated because I said some very mean things in the moment.

I don’t want to be this jealous, angry person. But I also don’t know how to find time for myself in this right now outside of basic hygiene. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to be myself, even if just for an hour.

Maybe I need a therapist.

How's everyone getting on?

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I think Motherhood has made me more bitter than I realized…

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