Overwhelming fear of tearing during childbirth

to try to overcome my anxiety of tearing/manage expectations, I wondered if anyone could share their experience of labour and tearing / episiotomy and how it was for you?
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I had a second degree tear with my son. I also was terrified of it as I didn’t want needles and stitches down there. But once he was out and they told me I needed stitches I honestly didn’t feel a thing. I was holding my son and they allowed me to use the gas and air still so I didn’t feel anything. Was sore after birth for about a week but regularly soaking it in the bath really helped.

I was insanely scared of it, like legit petrified. But there’s SO MUCH going on during labour that it was the least of my concerns I completely forgot about it, needed an episio in the end that healed fine so now I’m with my second I’m not even scared of it anymore.

I was ridiculously scared of this and I did end up needing an episiotomy but I had the epidural in still and didn’t feel a thing. I didn’t even care at the time either as I had my son in my arms. In the heat of the moment it really isn’t as bad as you might imagine. It did hurt for a bit afterwards but I made sure to have baths which gave me an excuse for a bit of me time as well!

Second degree tear and episiotomy with my first. Didn’t notice at all in labour (the tear anyway, the episiotomy was done in theatre under a spinal, and both were repaired then too) Sore afterwards, but it doesn’t last. Anxious about doing a poo, having sex etc too, but again, no issues there either. I definitely made it a bigger issue in my head than the reality of it!

As above, I had a second degree tear and an episiotomy but you don't notice it during labour. It's a bit sore afterwards but just paracetamol sorts it out. I had 5 piles and these were more uncomfortable than the tear/episiotomy

My labour was extremely fast so I ended up with third degree tear. But I healed so well and I don’t have any issues.

Forceps and episiotomy. I was super against it before labour. But it's honestly healed so well, and I only got 1 stitch

I had an episiotomy, absolutely did not want one however I didn't even feel it when I was being done, and they numb you when it's being stitched. I healed really well, within 2 weeks felt pretty much back to normal besides being a little uncomfortable when sitting down/getting up from sitting. Just make sure to keep on top of cleaning the area and keep it as dry as possible ☺️ x

I ended up having an episiotomy and another second degree tear, I was really worried about this too but it actually wasn’t too bad, it was tender and sore for the first few days, but I used the Frida Mom cool pads which were amazing and with those it was very manageable. I was about nervous about the stitches etc at first but it healed really well. Probably had some discomfort for 2-3 weeks but minimal after the first week The only things to mention is that my delivery ended up being forceps in theatre with a spinal so I didn’t actually ‘feel’ the tears as they were happening

I had an episiotomy (forceps) and lots of tearing with my first which wasn't ideal but it healed really well. With my second I just had a small graze. I understand that tearing feels like the most horrendous thing when you're trying to mentally prepare but honestly it's not a big deal and it happens to most women. You won't be concentrating on that at the time, I promise. You'll just want to get that baby out. You may not even notice it happening - lots of women don't know they've had a tear until afterwards.

I was really worried about this as well but by the time it got to the point of episiotomy and forceps (after 38 hours of labour) I really couldn't have cared less. I had a four inch continuous line of stitches but no issues, didn't need to take pain killers and it healed really quickly. I did notice it pulling tight during sex for about a year after giving birth but that was it.

Third degree tear (thanks to a fast labour) don't think I really felt it as it happened. Ended up being stitched back up in theatre and had a full check around 16weeks pp at tear clinic to check everything had healed properly which is way more than most people get. Absolutely no issues now

I had a 2nd degree tear in labour, I wash pushing when I wasn't having contractions which makes me feel like that may have contributed to it. I ripped across my labia upwards and to be honest I was more focused on getting her out and wasn't aware I ripped till the midwife examined the area, they continued to let me use gas n air injected the entire area and got to stitching and honestly it wasn't bad at all, healing was okay and using a peri bottle helped too, I'd say it was pretty positive considering how brutal they can be xx

I’ve torn during both of my labours and had no idea either time. It was just incorporated into the pain of labour. They were second degree tears. The stitches afterwards were worse.

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