You won’t be able to claim back unfortunately and it’s worth noting there is a cut off period for the tax free so i’m not sure if you’d be eligible until January now potentially December. When we applied we didn’t get instant approval either, it was definitely within the week but i want to say around 2-3 days. X
I believe you both need to meet the criteria not one person. Same with free hours. X
You can't claim back no, it works like a bank account so you put in a certain amount and the government tops it up, you then pay the nursery directly from that account.