Are you excited?

I did with my first. I didn’t feel excited, more just numb, even though it was something I wanted. Even after she was born it took me a while to feel that rush of love. I was more just scared about taking care of this little life. Now she’s 3 and the most incredible person I’ve ever met. My love for her knows no bounds, and I would literally do anything for her. It’ll come. It’s just hard to love someone you’ve not met

Your feelings are so valid and I’d imagine most parents-to-be have had similar feelings at some point. The fact that you’re worrying shows that you care. If you feel like you can’t talk to your midwife or family, would you consider contacting a charity or talking therapies? Xx

And yes, I wouldn’t say I’m excited yet, as Megan has said above, it’s hard to love someone you haven’t met!

It's such a big change, it's normal to feel a little uncertain about everything. Everyone makes out that you should feel a certain way, but absolutely there is no right way! However you feel is valid! Midwives usually try and get you on your own during appointments to check everything is okay - so it's a shame they haven't done that! Do try and talk to someone if you can. It can just help to say how you feel, but it does need to be the right person that can help you non-judgementally. Unfortunately not everyone is good in these situations! You may be able to self refer for a talking therapy or you could talk to your GP? Maybe even call your midwife outside of the appointment? There are also many charities out there like Samaritans who you can talk to about anything and they're amazing.

Also - just don’t tell your partner when the next appointment is. You should be able to go to them by yourself. They need to protect you from potential DV (I know this isn’t) in case you wanted to mention something to them

@Megan Thank you for your response. It’s a very odd feeling but ‘numb’ as you said is a good word to describe it. I just feel like “will I be good enough to parent?” Like you said, I’m hoping once babies arrive, things will change. But right now I’m not getting that magical feeling, excitement everyone talks about.

@Laura Yes, that’s a very good point to make; the fact I’ve posted, shows I do care. I’m just sat questioning myself, & challenging my inner thoughts. I’ll look into talking therapy, & see if that can help lift my mood.

@Loren I work in a profession that works alongside midwives. So I know my midwife will @ some point try & get me on my own. Every appt my other 1/2 is there so he always knows when appts are. Thank you. I’ll explore the Samaritans, talking therapies, & see how I get on.

@Megan Partner knows when appts are, as he’s always at the appts when following appts are being booked. But I suspect my midwife will, at some point, try & get me on my own, & ask how things are & etc. My partner is very supportive, & he’s been with me every step of our journey. And we have a relationship where we can talk about most things. But this I feel I cannot, as it’s a life changing event that I don’t want him to feel upset by.

I felt the same with my first. It was the first signs of my antenatal and postnatal depression. I would say talk to your midwife and consider a referral to the mental health team early. There is a lot of change at this time of your life with hormones on top it.