Can I say no?

My ex partner was due to have our little girl for the day yesterday, when I went to drop her off, he was extremely hungover, I refused to leave our daughter with him and when he wouldn’t let us leave, I rang the police. I’ve had a message from him to say I massively overreacted and he wants her on Friday (this isn’t his normal day) Do I have to allow him this? He was the one that messed up, he knew he was having her yesterday. Am I wrong in thinking that I can say no as why should I when it was his fault?

Show your support

Does he have court ordered contact with her? Also are you in the UK? If you are then you absolutely do not need to allow it and can exercise your parental responsibility by not taking her on Friday.

There’s no court order and yes we are in the UK. His next day will be Wednesday evening. But I just don’t feel it’s right that he can mess up as much as he did yesterday, and then make this demand. Of course I will take her Wednesday but I don’t feel like he should get to have her extra on Friday. It massively scared my daughter and she’s been very unsettled since. This isn’t the first time it’s happened and he knew this would happen if he did it again so he actively did this, knowing he’d miss out on seeing her for the day. What would you do? I’m just so scared of things escalating. I’m scared of standing up to him.

I think you've absolutely made the right decision personally - it isn't acceptable and therefore he misses his day. Especially if your daughter is now unsettled he needs to learn that this is not ok and you will always prioritise her wellbeing Id be doing the same as you and informing him he won't be getting an extra day and needs to ensure next week he is in an appropriate state to have her