what would you do

to give a little back story, i have a 15m old son. my husband, son and I all live in my fathers 2 bedroom home (my son has a bedroom, my dad has a bedroom, and my husband and i have the basement.) my husband is the only one working right now making me a stay at home mom so we don't live lavishly by any means... i found out i was unexpectedly pregnant in early september and was excited but i miscarried 9/15. i grieved hard. i realized i was not ready what so ever. however i've gotten another positive pregnancy test only 2 months after the miscarriage.. this is extremely unexpected and i don't know how i feel this time. my husband strongly urges an abortion which im almost on board with, but im scared ill regret it or ill feel some type of way if i do. i've always been a pro choice advocate but when it comes to myself im not so sure. we're not ready financially, mentally or physically. postpartum absolutely kicked my ass, and again my husband is the only one working. we live comfortably now but if we add another it'll add tons of stress onto us, my son and my father. i'm afraid we have no other choice but abortion. please give me your support and advice, i've been crying about this for days.

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I’ve always read you’ll regret the kids you didn’t have not the ones you did so take that however you’d like. I know this is a huge life altering decision but there are some thing financially you can do differently to help ease the burden. Facebook marketplace is my best friend. I’ve gotten most sleep sacks, lots of clothes, swing, crib, bassinet, play pens, toys, etc from there. Make a baby registry and then check Facebook marketplace. The amount of things I paid full price for is baffling! If you can use breast milk as well, that will help a ton financially and you don’t have to pay for a pump if you have insurance. Find one that is covered and they usually cover storage bags too! If you can’t, apply for WIC and they will pay for majority of breast milk, farmers market vouchers, diapers, etc. A huge factor to PPD or struggling PP is lack of vitamins (vitamins don’t fix it all and there is still the huge hormone drop contributing) but getting a lot of vitamins and good meals.

Good meals can help ease the emotional toll. Before having baby, you can prep meals for the crockpot! A dump and turn on type. There are sooo many resources for prepping those meals just a couple google searches and you can find nutritionally dense meals that go from freezers in a gallon baggy to the crock pot. You can also prep breakfast sandwiches for breakfast so you get a good breakfast while PP. Baby blues was super hard on me but all advice I saw was to just cry it out and let it happen and then move past it once the moment has passed. I’m not sure how a toddler and NB would do but most people say they do amazing as baby grows and to hold boundaries. If both are needing you at the same time, people recommend going to the toddler because the toddler will remember and as long as baby is safe and isn’t in need of immediate attention such as reflux then they will be okay. I’ve also read wearing earplugs helps lower the overwhelming feeling that happens with crying but you can

Still hear baby crying it’s just a lot less in your face! So that may help when baby comes.

I know this is terrifying. It’s hard to take that plunge, but there are ways to make it a little easier by controlling things that can be controlled. I am also pro choice and I support every single woman no matter which direction they choose but I couldn’t go through with it myself and that’s okay. You can support a woman’s right to choose but not choose it for yourself. It’s your body, your emotions, you get to decide. Your husband doesn’t understand and he never will fully so take his opinion with a grain of salt. I hope this has helped in some way.