Is this racist?

1 that is what babies do eat with their hands… it’s part of their development and 2 if that’s part of your culture that is extremely rude of him to say

Its more just 2 different cultures! I think teaching him even it’s appropriate to do either one would be important like around your family with hands and his family he can use a fork or spoon !

It's not racist he said manners. It's cultural. But not as big of a deal as he thinks. Americans tend to be more narrow-minded when it comes to other cultures. (Speaking from experiencing not about your own)

Idk - obviously I’m white - and live in uk - so here we mostly use knife and fork - other cultures are different and none is superior obviously - but here it’s not the ‘done thing’ I suppose to eat with hands - in the ‘dominant culture’ that is - it depends where youre living though and raising your child - if youre in aculture where eating with hands isn’t ’the done thing’ - he may just want child to conform to the culture - rather than being racist per se- if he lives in your culture - I would say it’s merely rude / ignorant and not necessarily racist - depends on other factors / instances

Your husband should educate himself..... plus your son can eat with his hands 😘 except he chooses not to 🙏🏼🙌🏼

This is colonialist as hell. The implication is that your culture = bad manners, because his culture is the default and gets to determine what counts as good/bad manners. Cosigning what Isleta and Zarya said, it's definitely an appropriate part of baby's development but also an important part of his cultural heritage (that your partner doesn't get to decide to cut him off from).

@danielle how do you eat a wrap? A burger? Pizza? Fries? A sandwich? A LOT of foods in western cultures are eaten by hand but suddenly it’s seen as bad manners when someone from another culture does it. Doesn’t make sense. There’s an element of racism whether consciously or unconsciously.

@Bee I was going to mention finger food - but then I was too tired lol - good point though- and probably yeh - like to think I’d be more culturally sensitive myself - can’t really put myself in mindset of an actual racist- but he could be - I’m not ruling it out!! - also - I wouldn’t say ‘white’ ppl in general perceive that it’s bad manners if a non white person ate with their hands- more that I would get looked at strangely if I ate pasta or even curry in most uk restaurants with my hands- it’s not ‘normal’ to eat like actual meals with your hands here

My son eats with his hands and he’s 5…. It dosnt bother me none because he’s a kid

That's ridiculous. Babies ues their hands to eat to begin with. That's what BLW is. My daughter is 2 tomorrow and at times still like to use hands to grab food to eat at times. Just easier and I don't blame her. Later on in life of they didn't master using untinsel then maybe. He also has to consider there are cultural differences to.

@danielle I understand what you’re saying but people, especially those of South Asian descent, do eat curry with their hands in restaurants. Whether with naan or even with rice. The OP said her partner thinks it’s bad manners. But every single one of us on this planet eats with our hands. Children eat with their hands naturally anyway. Now the question of racism is tricky to answer because it may well not be intentional, but why is one parents’ culture more ‘dominant’ than the other? Is it because they see their own culture as more superior? Is to appease societal expectations? Is it unconscious bias… conscious bias? The whole ‘eating with hands’ thing being seen as a negative or disgusting or what ‘savages’ do…. is very much steeped in racism. That’s the historical context and it’s played out still in the modern world, so I wouldn’t be so quick to downplay the racial undertones of it.

@Bee true - I shouldn’t be - although that’s why I stated my white ethnicity at the get go- as a kinda - take it with a pinch of salt opinion - bc as someone who’s white I probably have less awareness of racism than a non white person and will not ever fully understand what it’s like to be on receiving end of white supremacy - do just feel tho he *could* just want the child to fit into ‘western culture’ which isn’t a racially homogeneous thing anyway- the weird thing is- most young children eat with hands regardless of race and culture - he seems odd / clueless whether he’s racist or not -

Not racist, it's probably what he was taught and if you are living in a culture where everyone eats with cutlery and not hands he's teaching your son to just be like everyone else so he doesn't get picked on by others

Oh that's a slap in the face cause I feel like he is insinuating that he's better than yall, like yall savages or something smh

He sounds ignorant and very one dimensional… doesn’t he know there’s other’s cultures out there ? My partner is white and he understands and sometimes eats with his hand with our cultural food. He needs to Educate himself indeed and not be so closed minded

Tell him to eat a burger with a knife and fork

Yeah- cultural suprematism 100% no culture is better than an others. Implying your culture is unmannered is disrespectful, closeminded, and demeaning - also seconding the burger and pizza point- just because those are foods that white people acceptably eat with hands is the only difference and a big blind spot

Not racist but rude/ ignorant

My husband is white British, I am black African. My husband has travelled a lot and educated himself and is open to many different things. When we have food from my country, he eats with his hands and enjoys it. When we have British/European food, we use utensils. We will expose our kids to both. It’s not that we don’t have utensils in my country as we still have food that needs utensils, it’s just more enjoyable to use your hands with some foods. Having said that, I know that different cultures call for different etiquette. I would judge by the food and the company and wouldn’t automatically use my hands. Also, it’s good for kids development to eat with their hands and also to use utensils. How does your husband feel about other cultural issues?

I don’t know if he’s being racist, but it is dumb… People eat with their hands all the time. Hamburgers, hotdogs, french fries, sandwiches, tacos…

implement the importance of FINE MOTOR SKILLS it’s the worst having a school aged child in OTP bc lack there of 💪🏽 look it up he’ll change his mind 😎