Hi girlies! Drowning in guilt as a first time mum and could use some advice! Xx

Hey! Did you try to eat the same as her at the same moment so that she imitates you? Seat all together at the same time and table (her near the table with a throne) or giving you the food to her with a spoon and a fork?

Try not to feel too guilty - we all worry they’re not eating enough. I found weaning to be one of the most stressful periods but my daughter is eating so well now it seems a distant memory. Continue to allow her to try different food without a huge expectation that she actually eat very much. You can also start to introduce some cows milk from age 1 in a cup or bottle. Have you tried any purées if you’re not having any luck with actual food? Just remain consistent even when it’s tough!

What helped us is having meals as a family - and my daughter eating the same as us

A few things you may or may not have already tried: - take her out of the chair and bring her to the table with you during meals. Can sit her on your lap as well - put smaller amounts of food on her plate at one time. When they’re in the throwing phase this can help, and sometimes they get overwhelmed by the amount - try if you can to offer solids about 45 minutes after a milk feed - does she have oral ties? I don’t know how it works in the UK but can you look into feeding therapy?

My baby didn’t start eating until she was 13 months. I used to feel so guilty and she still has milk in day time and at night time too. I give it less and just once a day or twice but what I did was give her purée and she will eat it and slowly make it more mushy then slice it bigger slowly but one thing I did was offer her food that is a bit runny or not dry and then she would eat it but offered her snacks such as kiddilicious veggie straws or some blueberry or some chunks of strawberries and she is slowly eating it. But I called the health visiting team before I did any of that and they said similar things as well and said not to offer her milk too much and yes she will cry but she will get hungry and a hungry child will eat. They will reject the food first and maybe second time but third time they will eat it and not to offer her milk every couple of hours as milk will make her full and it’s her comfort food so she will want it but baby will eat solids when hungry

Also don’t offer milk for breakfast as that is a reminder of milk for the rest of the day and instead offer solids as soon as they wake up so you can set the tone for the day. Best of luck dear and just do things slowly. There’s no rush and take your time!

14 months and we are in a really similar boat. He just seems to have no interest in eating and still wakes every 1-2 hours (on a good night). We've just had blood work done which showed he is iron deficient. This can affect both appetite and sleep so might be worth you looking into that?

My son's always been a thrower so when he's in that kind of mood and possibly overwhelmed by it, I only put a few piece of food in front of him at a time and he finds it a lot more manageable.

I’d say I’m in the same boat as you. He doesn’t sleep well or eat well! I thought I was giving him too much milk through the day so I’ve actually cut back and we’re on day 3 and he’s actually eating much more. Still nowhere near how much he should be at 12 months. He still feeds to sleep so he’s probably breastfed about 4 times a day and atleast twice through the night too. It’s so hard with the lack of sleep so I really feel you!! I would say to just stay firm with no boob and keep offering food and if she’s hungry she will start taking little bits. Also my health visitor has referred me to a program called ‘Henry’ and they do a workshop on fussy eating. I haven’t been yet but I think they do it all over the UK so maybe worth looking in to that too?

Following as my lo is the exact same at the moment

My son was pretty much getting all his nutrients from formula right up until his first birthday. Then we spent about a week offering only food (purées and finger foods for snacks). Sometimes it was 7 hours between eating which worried me but he just wasnt hungry. Now at 15 months it's about 4/5 hours between meals with snacks and cows milk offered in between. Water is offered before breakfast instead of milk. He typically has 7oz of cows milk about 2 hrs after breakfast and lunch but he still has formula before bed and around midnight. Still not ideal but his eating has progressed so much in just a couple months. For us it just took a bit of persistence.

If it’s any comfort, I didn’t eat one bite of solid food until I was over a year old. I didn’t take a bottle either. Just breastmilk straight from the boob. My daughter was slow to take to solids, so I asked my mum for advice and she just said I started eating when I was ready 🤷🏻‍♀️ There wasn’t as much pressure to wean by one then, so she never stressed about it. I wasn’t particularly picky as a child either, once I got started. I know it’s really stressful but remember the “average” child is ready for 3 meals by age 1. Some are ready earlier. Some are ready later. You’re doing a great job with everything you’re trying and there’s lots of great advice on this post so I won’t repeat it. She’ll get there! ♥️

I can’t help at all as not experienced this, but thought I’d comment anyway and just say, you are doing amazing mama❤️

We don't even get HVs in Hampshire. So; if we don't need them, they're pointless to you. Ignore what they say

My baby had a phase of loosing interest in food when in the high chair, I found it easier to give her bits of food in her mouth whilst she was playing about, I made like butter toast into very small pieces and popped them in as she’s playing and eventually she started crawling for more food and we tried the high chair again and she liked it. A change in the environment could also help, try in the pushchair, in ur lap, out and about. Instead of focusing on “meals per day” I tried to get her used to the idea of eating and different textures/flavours instead and this helped her appetite grow. Also if you do feed in places other than high chair ensure the pieces are super soft and small so it’s not a choking risk and definitely not whilst they are lying down.

For me, weaning was the most stressful part of this journey so far, but I just wanted to reassure you that waking up at night for milk is completely normal! Especially EBF babies as it could just be that they want comfort rather that food at that time.. my LO was an EBF baby, is now 2.5yo and still wakes for a feed every night x