in In a relationship but basically doing on your own.

Love?

I am in a relationship with my children’s father we have been together 4 years and have two beautiful babies. I do everything around the house and for our children he comes home from work eats and sleeps and that’s it. I just feel stuck in an endless loop. I love him but hate being a single mom especially while being with my kids father. Does that make sense?

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Girl I’m going through the same thing! I feel like I do everything alone and when you say something they are “so exhausted from work” or “they’re doing what they can” 🙃🙃

@Valerie🌻 yes or they say “oh but what did you do all day?” I swear they act like staying at home with kids is easy or something lol

It’s so tough making them understand but when they get home it needs to be as close to 50/50 as possible. What you’re doing is a job, if you were working outside the home someone else would look after them and be paid for it. Is he ever left looking after them? Relationship wise it’s so easy just to get into the logistics and day to day stuff. Are you able to get a date night or something in at least once a month to try and connect as a couple?

@Hannah he is never left alone with him. He doesn’t understand 50/50 to be quite honest. We have date night once a month but honestly I have reached a point where yes I love him but it’s becoming hard to still be in love with him if that makes sense

Right! I work just like he does and I’m ALWAYS doing something. While he gets rest or to play the game but I can’t even get a shower without feeling guilty for asking 🙃

@Valerie🌻 if I shower when my kids are asleep I still get made to feel guilty about it

@Charity yeah I think resentment can really take over when the division of labour is so uneven. It just shows such a lack of understanding and appreciation for what you contribute to the family. If I were you I’d definitely just take some time a few times a week for myself. Say you have a class/appointment or errand to run and go out for an hour. Even a long walk!

@Hannah thank you so much for these suggestions!!!

I want to add that a shower isn’t self care it is a basic need. You need to take care of your hygiene. So do not let him make you feel guilty about it. And you expect a partner not a roommate. You deserve someone who wants to be a part of the family actively.

Married single mom is a phrase yup. Men need to wake up. There is a whole section in YouTube about it. I’ve started to stop doing things. Just leave them. Not healthy but he had noticed!