Christmas

I have not thought about it, it’s only been 2 months. I don’t know what to do

I put up a separate small Christmas tree next to her ashes in our sitting room, it's called Matilda's tree 🩷 and plenty decorations with her name or initial on our big tree ⭐

He already has a whole shelf in our living room that is up all year, but he has an ornament on the tree and I also had a tiny stocking that I hung up on his shelf🤍

Our children choose an ornament every year for themselves but they also choose one between them for baby brother 👼 x

I give a gift to my son, marked from her. He’s too young to understand it, he’s only 21m and she was born and passed when he was 6m.

I have struggled with this a lot over the years. The first Christmas without my son, I refused to celebrate it really. The second Christmas I got him a special bauble. And this year, to be honest, I haven't done anything physical to honour him. That's not because I don't love or miss him but because it's difficult. I once remember my bereavement midwife said "your son would not want you to be sad". And so I guess, my way of honouring him is to love him and miss him but also to take care of myself and his family. He is with me no matter what I do. I'm not saying don't honour our babies in the stars by doing something special for them - anything we do is lovely. But if you are struggling, allowing yourself some love and care is part of remembering and honouring them too xx