Miscarriage at 12weeks 3days

Hey mamas, I had a miscarriage this Wednesday, where i had very bad cramps and passed tissue send clots with a lot of bleeding. I had this pain 4days before without bleeding, got it checked but no scan done. Then i started having brownish discharge and spotting that i didn’t take serious because i read it can be normal if not accompanied with pain. Then the miscarriage happened and i feel numb. I want this child so badly but i feel so guilty that i might have killed her. Only if i had gone to the clinic the moment i started seeing discharge and light spotting when I wiped. I haven’t been able to express any emotion. I don’t know how to feel. Do i even deserve to mourn when i couldn’t even look after my unborn child? I’m just here since Wednesday night that i got back from hospital and haven’t say a word, cry, feel sad or anything. I’m just numb and playing back what if…. Did i do this to myself? Is there anything I could have done bettter? I mean… I was ending first trimester

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This isn't your fault and don't put the blame on yourself. Unfortunately this happens, I lost mine in September at 10 weeks. It's normal to feel numb. I still do. But this isn't your fault. You didnt do this. You need time to grieve over your baby. If you want to talk message me as I know how you feel from recent experience💔xxx

I am so sorry that you've had to go through this, I lived through the exact same thing, only at 10w. I lost my baby on a Bank Holiday weekend, and even though I called after I got the brown discharge, and went straight to the A&E the morning when the first few drops of bright red blood appeared, I still ended up having a traumatic miscarriage at home, with an abnormally heavy bleed (my husband and neighbour had to call an Ambulance, as the bleeding wouldn't stop for an hour straight). I'm sorry for the gory details, I just want you to understand that you've done nothing wrong, and it's not your fault.. I was told by my OB that as soon as the bright red blood appeared, the miscarriage had started, and there's nothing anyone could have done to stop it.. Hang in there lovely, and please feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to.. being in these groups helped me go through the hardest time of my life.. but you are strong and you will go back from it, ready to try again for your rainbow 🌈..

I’m so sorry you went through this. I had a miscarriage at 9.5 weeks and played the what if scenarios for months. I was numb. Didn’t cry. Didn’t take time off work or anything. And it only hit me 5-6 months later. Started crying and started feeling my feelings months later. Only 2 people knew I was pregnant and only these 2 people knew I miscarried. I spoke to no one about it. Each person has their own process. I wish you a smooth recovery (physically and emotionally) 🤍 feel free to message me if you need to talk.

Please don’t think this was your fault. It was most likely a genetic abnormality and your body recognised it so your baby stopped growing. There’s nothing you could have done. I had a missed miscarriage, I found out at my 12 week scan that my baby had died some weeks before. By the time you’re bleeding, it’s already happened. You should grieve however feels right to you. I’m sorry for your loss, take it easy and look after yourself 🤍

@Georgia thank you so much. I do appreciate your kind words

@Maria i really do appreciate your kind words. This sure lifted my mood

@zhor I’m so sorry for yours too. Thank you for your kind words. It sure helps

@Lauren thank you so much. I appreciate your kind words

I’m thankful to everyone for their uplifting words. It does make me feel better and not alone.