Is it appropriate and OK to ask for updates when your kid is with the other parent… I get separation anxiety after long periods of time without my child. She’s one… and I miss her all the time..

I’m hoping I’m not the only one that feels this way or that this is a normal response even though my child is a-year-old.. I have an ugly custody situation with father of my child honestly because he’s a stubborn narcissist and it’s either his way or no way and he likes to be controlling into his girlfriend and her family encourage his behavior and think that just because I wanna hold him accountable and set boundaries for myself and her daughter i’m doing too much and I should let somebody who very much neglected the fact that he had a child on the way and tried to avoid it until last minute, and then decided that he liked the thought of being a dad and wanted to impress his girlfriend‘s family and because they suddenly became obsessed with my daughter. They encouraged him to not just step up, but ignore having to respect boundaries because he was MIA all of the pregnancy and in the beginning of her life. They believed that he should be able to take a baby with no experience, no home and no type of car seat or even a diaper bag to his name. So of course it’s natural for any parent mom or dad to feel uncomfortable with somebody like that just wanting to take the baby and arguing that it’s fair that they take the baby and not be supervised or show you that they can be trusted?? so apparently I was gaslit my whole bunch of people when I didn’t have any support that I should just let him do whatever he wants and be grateful that somebody even wants to be helpful even if I didn’t think it was because I just add more stress.. it’s nothing like worrying about what’s going on with your child and not knowing because he also hates doing updates because he takes offense to it… Me personally I feel like I still suffer from separation anxiety from my child and I don’t know if this ever goes away, but it’s just not as bad as it was before.. before I used to completely fall apart after 12 hours or even 24 hours because it didn’t feel right and I thought forcing myself to suck it up and be OK with being away from my child was best for me and then I realize that feeling never went away as she even got a little older.. even when I tried to explain it to her dad that I asked for photos of her and how she’s doing and I don’t do this all the time! I do it once during the day if he has her for a weekend meaning how did she sleep and how is she doing on a Sunday in the same thing during a Saturday, so I don’t blow him up 20 times a day to see the baby. I just asked for a single photo and an update of how she’s doing and how she’s been and I get ignored and told to back off because I’m crazy and obsessive… but when she used to be at daycare once every other day, I would ask a daycare in the middle of the day how she was doing or I would ask to see a photo of her once a week on a random day and they had no problem and said this is absolutely normal so I’m not sure if I’m crazy or if even with our custody battle, I should be privileged to even ask how she’s doing while she’s with him? And is it normal for one parent to be the way I am mom or dad and want updates of your child and want to see your child all the time and I understand her time with her. Dad is her time with her dad, but he literally screamed in court to demand a week on week off for one year-old because of his girlfriend because she doesn’t want him around me, but no one‘s gonna say that I’m allowed.. I’m literally uncomfortable around her dad, but I suck it up when it comes to our daughter. Anything else makes me extremely uncomfortable… I filed a DV against him and it fell through because there wasn’t enough evidence and ever since I feel retaliated against because he makes the accusations that I actually physically assault him and my daughter and he has no proof and they keep telling him to stop, but it doesn’t stop him from continuing to spread those rumors on court paperwork and court. I just feel like I don’t think I’m the only person who feels it’s normal or I feel like it’s appropriate that without seeing my daughter even over a weekend I should be able to check in and say hey how is she doing and not be ignored especially when there’s a court order that says if anything is about the Child, we both need to respond and he literally chooses to say that I don’t have to respond to anything even after a judge just said numerous time you need to respond and it’s even worse that she gives him 24 hours knowing he said an “he doesn’t feel like he needs to… and like I said we have a baby she’s a toddler. She’s only one year old and even if she is happy, I can listen to voice recordings of her and watch videos of her all day long but there’s nothing like seeing a fresh updated photo once or twice during the week long. Just to say hey how she’s doing and she’s fine and this is what she’s doing and that’s usually what starts an argument is the bitterness between him and his girlfriend towards me we have our history and no one has done anything to her. She just chooses to involve herself and they’ve barely been together a little around a year which is kind of annoying that she thinks she has a seat at the table when it comes to our daughter and she’s making the situation worse, thinking that by him talking to me about our daughter or having an adult conversation without her something else is going on smh I just hate feeling like I’m crazy or that I’m doing too much by requesting to see my daughter and I hate the idea of someone like him legally saying that if it’s his custody time, I’m not even allowed to go to doctors appointments because he hates that if there’s something on his time, why should I be going if it’s his time or if I asked to see a picture of her I can wait until she’s back into my custody because I don’t need to see her on his time… and again I’m not crazy. I don’t ask every day a picture is worth a few days for me and I’m new to the week on week off… I don’t like it, but I feel like at least if I knew she was OK and I can get a straight answer out of him aside from she’s fine (which I don’t get) i’m not crazy like he is. I don’t go off and start calling the police just because I don’t get my way because if the rules were reversed and he ever asked me about her, I would absolutely tell him I just don’t tell him in detail anymore because he actually doesn’t care. He used to ask me how she was and then after I asked for an apology because he was being disrespectful, he stopped asking about our daughter in my care after two months old. So you can imagine from two months old all the way to a year old he never asked about her care when she’s with me and yet I ask when she’s at daycare and when she’s with him meaning I do it with everybody and everyone who washes my daughter for me on weekends They know I appreciate an update every few hours even without me having to ask because I think it’s normal for a mom or a parent to want to know how their child is doing.. Hopefully somebody can reassure me and tell me that I’m not crazy and that there is no order put in places that says we have no contact and we’re not allowed to ask about the Child when she’s with the other parent .. he’s just an ass and I don’t wanna be made to feel like I’m a problem because once or twice within these new week on week off, I would like to check in on the Baby and say hey how is she doing? I can’t even call him we use a parenting app and he passes out my number when he has it so he’s not allowed to have it… so like I said because I keep putting strict boundaries in place now he’s retaliating and his girlfriend is helping him and they make it about something else. That’s not even the problem and I don’t even care what it is. I just hope they don’t hurt her and take anything out on my kid you know? I can’t say he’s a terrible dad, but he doesn’t put her first either.. and I guess that’s why I feel like I need more updates from him. I don’t think I can go a full week without knowing what my baby was doing so even the once a week or twice a week updates I feel like should be appropriate and OK consider considering her age and she’s not supposed to be on a week on a week off schedule until she’s a few years older…