@Melanie that was my thinking by doing the timeouts trying to remove her from the situation just trying to diffuse. But there would be no civil conversation about it because she gets mad at her husband for disciplining their children 🙄
I’d be worried that punishing my child instead of the one who was in the wrong would be sending the wrong message. She might get confused as to what the boundaries are. I never condone hitting period. So I’d either have to remove her by keeping her in another room with me or leave the persons house. (If you can’t talk to the other kid who is instigating). Maybe be nice to him and say “if you hit her again, we will have to stop playing”. And remove your daughter every time he does it
That’s hard because you can’t really manage how other people parent their children. But if that person is a close friend as you say, can you have a civil conversation about how the situation is making you feel? That you would like him to stop hitting your daughter? The only other option in my mind is to remove yourself and your child from the situation.