60 Hilarious Birthday Jokes for Kids

Jul 6 2022

7 min read

Want to add some fun to the party? We’ve got you covered. Read on for our favorite birthday jokes for kids. Warning: laughter may ensue. Birthday party planning is always the same, right?

You’re running around trying to wrap presents, organize party packs, make a cake, do the shopping.

And at the same time, trying to think of a fun way to inject some humor into the situation.

Basically, you are being a super-mama.

And you’re nailing it.

But sometimes, it’s nice to have a little help.

Peanut’s got you covered with our favorite birthday jokes for kids.

So whether you are after a chortle, a guffaw, or a good belly laugh, there is nothing like a dose of laughter to make a birthday memorable.

Our list also includes birthday riddles for kids to keep them all engaged.

You may want to use these as a party game and hand out prizes to whoever comes up with the best answer.

Ready to get giggling and guessing? Let’s go!

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Our favorite happy birthday jokes for kids

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Oma. Oma who? Oma gosh, it’s your birthday!
What one thing will you get every year on your birthday, guaranteed? A year older.
What has wings, a long colorful tail, and wears a bow? A birthday pheasant.
What did the hermit crab do on his birthday? He shellabrated.
What did the ocean say to the birthday boy? Nothing, it just waved.
Why does the mushroom always get a birthday party invite? He’s a fun-guy!
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? “Aye matey.”
What do you sing to a cow on their birthday? Happy birthday to moo!
Why did the man get heartburn after eating birthday cake? He forgot to take off the candles.
What type of cake did the cat want for her birthday? MICE cream cake.
What did one pea say to the other on its birthday? “Hap-pea birthday.”
Why did the boy put candles on the toilet? He wanted to have a birthday potty.
Which side of a birthday cake is never eaten? The left side…
What’s the best thing to say to a cheese-lover on their birthday? “Hap-brie birthday!”
What song do you sing a Snowman on his birthday? "Freeze a jolly good fellow..."
What do you say to a rabbit on its birthday? Hoppy Birthday!
Which birthday party game do rabbits like most? Musical hares.
Why do candles always go on the top of cakes? Because it's hard to light them from the bottom.
What sort of birthday cake do ghosts prefer? I scream cake.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his piece of birthday cake? He was stuffed.
What do cakes and baseball teams have in common? They both need a good batter.
What happens when no one shows up to your birthday party? You CAN have your cake and eat it too.
What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday? It's roar birthday!
What do you sing to a cow on their birthday? Happy birthday to moo!
Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? Because people kept toasting him!
What do you get when you eat an entire birthday cake? A stomach ache.
Why did the girl put her cake in the freezer? She wanted to ice it.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? It was feeling crumby.
Knock-knock! Who’s there? Les! Les who? Les party!
How does the cat like to celebrate its birthday? It turns up the mewsic.
Why did the birthday kid get soap for their birthday? It was a soap-prise birthday party!
Does a blue candle burn longer than a green one? No, they both burn shorter.
What did the moose say to his friend on his birthday? So I herd it’s your birthday…
Why did the little girl hit her birthday cake with a hammer? It was a pound cake.
Why did the robber break into the bakery? She heard the cakes were rich.
What kind of birthday cakes do birds always pick? Chocolate chirp.
What did the cake say to the ice cream? You're cool.
What goes up and never comes down? Your age!
How do you know when you’re getting too old? When the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
What happens when you invite a thief to your birthday party? They take the cake!
Why did the kid find birthday balloons in the bathroom? It was a birthday potty!
Why can't kids remember past birthdays? Because they are too focused on the present.
What did one candle say to the other? Don't birthdays just burn you out?
Knock knock! Who’s there? Gus Gus who? Gus how old I am today?
What did the birthday card say to the stamp? Stick with me, we're going places!
Why was the birthday cake so hard? It was a marble cake!
What is a tornado's favorite party game? Twister!
What did the young elephant want for its birthday? A trunkful of toys.
What do frogs drink at their birthday parties? Diet croak.
If you have a dozen eggs in one hand and 10 cupcakes in the other, what do you have? Crazy-big hands.
When is a golf ball like a birthday cake? When it’s being sliced.
How do cats bake cakes? From scratch!
Knock knock! Who’s there? Stopwatch Stopwatch who? Stopwatch you are doing and celebrate, it’s your birthday!
What did the cake say to the fork? You wanna piece of me??
What kind of music do balloons hate? Pop music.
Why did the cupcake cross the road? It had muffin else to do!
Why don't owls give each other presents on their birthdays? Because they don't give a hoot!
Why are birthdays so good for you? I don’t know, but the people who have the most live the longest.
What does every birthday end with? The letter Y.
Knock knock! Who's there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda wish you a happy birthday!
And that’s it. Our tried-and-tested favorite funny kids birthday jokes.

Say them out loud, stick them into the party packs, or write one on each gift.

However you use them, these funny birthday jokes for kids are sure to brighten up your kid’s day.

And if you want to continue the giggles, head here for more jokes.

All the best, mama!

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭