Need someone to talk to😢

So recently me and my partner have hit a rut. Been together 6 years two beautiful children, one of 6months. But I can't decide if I'm just putting up with things or being unreasonable. Since we had our son our sex life hasnt been as good as it used to be, which is obviously expected. But then since having my little girl you'd think when you get the "time" to here and there you'd make some effort. When I do show him some affection I feel like his avoiding me because he thinks I want it, then when he comes home his asleep literally by 9 o'clock he does do a manual job but sometimes would be nice for him to be spontaneous and me feel his come home wanting some... No? Is this not normal? 3 weeks i waited... I threw a birthday meal for all him and his family and mine for his 30th birthday , we got home kids were in bed.... Nothing. Then this weekend we went away with our friends I definitely understand we're in company of others so affection or what ever is sometimes.personal choice not everyone enjoys showing PDA. But when we go to bed his on about getting our son from the other room ( we all had separate rooms down corridors of one another) and then putting him with us.... Before even trying anything. I never really feel he wants to sit and cuddle me/ hold my hand and when we spend time together alone I feel his just bored. We can go out have a good laugh with friends him have a couple of drinks and we get back and nothing. His excuse is his tired? What do I do? I have tried speaking to him, and I get it's not all about sex! ( His even used this phrase ) but sex for me helps ... I need some spark! Last night he asked for an early night and waited hours and hours in the end I was the tired one and I thought Uno what I can't be bothered, he also started messing around pretending to be asleep which I found disrespectful as he no's why i have been so upset that were not spending any time together , so I turned the TV off then his there saying stop being silly I said no, don't let me force you to do anything will you, and he got worried wnd then rold me to get back to bed . I fell asleep alone I couldn't be bothered he made me feel shit again. What do I do?🥺😪 I've even thought is there someone else. He assured me there isn't but it has to be more than tiredness.