Opinions please
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Only you can decide when you’re ready to be apart from your baby, and 4 hours is a long time to try to settle a baby who just wants a boob, but if your husband is happy to try, I’d say go for it. Agree that he can call any time and you will come straight home. It might be a complete disaster, but it might go well and you get to spend time with friends and he gets to spend one to one time with baby!
I think you can make this work :) how about your husband and baby go somewhere near to the venue, so that if you need to duck out to feed, you can? Or maybe they could wait in the car nearby? That’s worked well for us before :) a breastfed baby really needs to be within 10 mins of the milk (boob or bottle) in my book - it’s so hard on both of you otherwise. Not a case of not trusting hubby, just a case of prioritising baby’s needs ❤️
My opinions; - Cheese and wine bar is perfectly fine for a newborn to come along too! Newborns go where the parents go, it’s normal. - You grew this beautiful baby for 9 months, you birthed your baby in a life-changing event mere WEEKS ago. How dare a man call you selfish for having a strong bond/attachment to your baby! - I get that he is the dad, and that dad and baby bonding time is important, but as this early stage, I personally think it’s do what mum and baby will feel most comfortable with above almost everything else. In this case I would say to my partner “I love that you want to help, I trust you and baby would be safe and fine but I feel more comfortable not separating from my baby as it’s only been a few weeks”
My boy is 11 weeks (exclusively breastfed too) and I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him for an evening. I completely trust my partner, he's an amazing dad and is great at settling out son, but particularly in the evenings he does like to be on me and feeding a lot, for both food and comfort and that's totally normal and natural. I'm not saying what anyone else should do, but for me I would find it impossible to relax knowing my baby was at home wanting me and not understanding why I wasn't there. The time will come but he's still so young and I don't feel like I need to get out and be away from him, so personally I wouldn't put any of us through what would likely be a stressful evening for everyone. I'm considering a morning away at a spa for my birthday end of June when he's 4.5 months but if I do it that will likely be the first time I leave him IF I feel comfortable.
Wow, I think he’s taking this the wrong way! He’d soon be begging you to come home when he’s got a starving screaming baby in his arms! You’re only trying to do the right thing for both of them! My partner took our daughter out today and she screamed the entire time, she’s ebf too and rarely takes more than 1oz from a bottle so I get your worries!
Tbh I completely understand you, I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving my 10 week old baby is breastfed xxx
Maybe the best option is a 1 hour outing first, and build up to 4 hours? I trust my partner, but the mother’s instinct to be by a child’s side is crazy strong. I hope he can understand that it’s not a criticism of him. Maybe also do some more practicing of him bottle feeding, with you in another room / taking a nice bath, before you are too far away. The best advice I was given that I reeeeally hope I am able to stick to: don’t become the only expert in your baby. You have to try to allow your partner to be a joint expert. Maybe it’s too early right now, but it’s something to aim for. Just try to be kind to each other. And understand that this is difficult and new for you both. Good luck! 🩷
Could you try and communicate to your husband that these feelings are all about your thoughts around leaving baby and nothing to do with the baby being with him? He might feel as though you are suggesting he is inadequate so and making explicit that that’s not what you’re saying might help shift his perspective from defence to empathy. With my 1st I never wanted to leave him, I couldnt relax, I had massive separation anxiety, and it’s hard to do so with EBF (he didn’t take a bottle). I didn’t leave him until he was 2 years old! With my 2nd (EBF & does take a bottle) I was popping out here and there from when he was 2 weeks old. It’s so different and you don’t need to explain why you feel a certain way - feeling it is enough. It’s hard to manage and communicate these things in relationships once you have kids. I hope you can have a productive conversation!
Maybe it's too soon and if evenings are too tricky to get around then maybe wait a while. Instead you could go out for something simple like a coffee or manicure and leave the baby with your husband. That way you'll get a break and he will feel like he can be trusted 😊
Can you ask the girls to go a lunch time do? X
My baby is 11 weeks old tomorrow and she comes along when I go out with friends, she rarely goes more than 3 hours without feeding so unless I’m just round the corner it’s pretty difficult to leave her. She won’t take a bottle either. It’s all round less stressful IMO. I tried with my first and ended up coming back after half hour coz he was screaming and dad couldn’t settle him, and he wouldn’t take a bottle; nothing other than boob worked. It was a really stressful hour for him - he tried for half hour before calling me and it took half hour to get back home! That being said, if both of you are prepared to deal with worst case scenario - dad with a screaming baby for however long it takes you to get back, and you having to cut your night short, then it could be worth seeing how it goes? Only u know when you would feel comfortable being apart from the baby, maybe 10 weeks is too soon but it will be good to get some time to yourself and good for dad to have 1-1 time with baby one day