New Mom 🔥 OUT- Need Advice
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It’s nice that you want to do all that, but I think that you’re not the only adult in your household who can do some of those tasks. If you’re struggling, maybe he can make his breakfast and lunches until your body isn’t as exhausted hormonally.
Have your husband make his own breakfast, eat cereal, or buy it on the go. For his lunch, pack dinner leftovers. At this stage in our lives, I only have time to make dinner, which I batch cook for several nights. Breakfast is yogurt, cereal, fruit, and nuts. I weaned our son at a year old. I was also pumping 3 times a day. He has transitioned well to whole milk. I also work full-time and run a side hustle rental business with my husband on the side. Hugs to you, Mama. You are only one person with only two hands.
Welp. Had a discussion that didn't end up too well.
@Victoria, well, I am glad you had the discussion. Give it a few days and let it sink in. Then revisit. Proud of you, Mama.
Good job having the 1st talk mom If your husband is a marinator, like mine, he'll come back around to this discussion. Our therapist reminded us that adding a whole new person to your routine is a big life change and it's OK to figure it out together. Let go of stigmas and stepford wife syndrome. I had to tell my husband I'm not superwoman and I dont aspire to be. Life is a journey, not a destination.
Hey Victoria! Above is lots of amazing advice. I am curious how your husband responded when you shared how you’re feeling- was he unaware, unsure how to help? I had a similar issue with my husband. To change this, I asked my husband to watch the baby all day. I even pumped my milk to give my husband some to use in a bottle with our son. This sole action gave my husband, and first time dad, a really clear understanding of how much work it is to care for a child. And he got it even more when we read research together about how many calories and how much effort creating breast milk takes. I’m a full time working and breast feeding momma, too. What I have done to help me feel better is to get an IV fluid every once in awhile. It’s helped me stay healthy and feel rejuvenated for a little while. Working as hard as we are, it’s important to stay healthy so we can keep doing it all. Stay strong! You’ve got this!
@Colleen hey Colleen, um it was a horrible response at first. It went totally left. I think it's because he can see how I'm feeling, and we are both under an immense amount of stress and sleep deprived. I also didn't handle it the best. I was like a shaken up soda can. I completely exploded. I'm usually never like that. He has been better and Watching the baby more. I have a crazy amount of guilt but I try to ignore it. I also wasn't producing enough milk either which was so frustrating and didn't help the situation. But it's better now. Thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it. When your in the middle, it's hard to see what to do or if it's going to get better.
@Victoria oh my, yes, I get that. Great visual, shaken soda can!! Our husbands are learning how to navigate all this newness, too. Love that you have that empathy and perspective. It’s helpful. Each of you are stretched. My hubby and I are so blown with how much growth is needed for us to show up bigger and better for ourselves, each other and our baby boy. So happy he is jumping in more and you are releasing that guilt, or not giving it too much attention!
Fill your cup until it runs over and fills the cups of those around you. I started getting myself ready for the day first husband can watch the kids and everyone can survive 30min without me.
Audiobook or comic show while cooking! It always makes me feel better
Do you have any family around? Or are you part of any other communities you could pull from (church, etc)? It sounds like now is the time to bring in the cavalry. I like people’s ideas of talking to your husband for support, but I’m worried he may be overwhelmed too. If you have the finances to allow it, perhaps consider doing more pre-made meals so cooking is less work, having someone clean the house, and seeing what things you can outsource. I also set up an auto dog feeder and got a dog door so my dog care is minimized as much as possible.
Talk to your husband maybe and tell him how you’re feeling. See if he can help you out a bit more around the house or something or even just to give you like 15 minutes of quiet time each day for you to relax. I totally understand being burnt out and it’s really difficult to get past that. I will say even if nothing changes right away just hang in there because it does get so much easier. Once your little one starts growing up and you start getting the best routine down for you it will feel so nice I promise.