Am I overthinking

My husband also has a physically demanding job. I would say during the work week when he gets home he gives me an hour to myself and he will play with our daughter. By play that usually just involves him kind of sitting there and handing her toys he's not super excited looking or sounding just cuz he's tired. The hour for myself usually involves me finishing cooking dinner and possibly taking a bath. He does the best that he can but when they're this little sometimes he's not sure what to do with her so sometimes they end up doing just screen time. As far as household chores I must SAHM, I don't ask or expect him to do anything during the week as I keep the house somewhat tidy but we do set aside an hour to over the weekend where he will help me get to whatever chores I was not able to accomplish during the week. Don't know if that's the answer that you were looking for but that's kind of how we live our life. We are partners but we definitely both have our roles.

I never understand things like this. He knew he had a physical before having baby right? Was he this lazy with contributing to household tasks etc before baby? I just think it’s ridiculous personally. He knew he was going to have to go work and come home to help in someway or another. My partner has a physical job and knows that, my job staying at home looking after baby is also going to be hard but chose to do this together so we are in it altogether? I think you need to have a word with him!

@Amy are you talking to me or OP i think so long as I'm ok with the arrangement it's fine. My husband and I focus on communicating, and just cause that wouldn't work for your relationship doesn't mean it doesn't work for ours. I have zero resentment towards my husband we both work hard at our respective roles but at the end of the day we are partners. He puts effort in even when he is tired and I love and respect him for that

@Brooke No, commenting to original poster! I know my view seems brutal but you know what you sign up for, you know how tiring your job can be before adding a baby and that’s definitely something we discussed beforehand. We are a team and for us, it’s joint effort in all, besides he is the one who wanted children now more so than I did so it’s only fair he does his bit when I’ve done mine of compromising and having children a few years ahead of what I’d have ‘planned’!

@Amy oh absolutely I think having a conversation of expectations is necessary whenever you decide you want to have kids preferably before you have them. I think everybody's life looks a little bit different but I think if you do grow resentments with whatever boundaries you originally put in place then it just needs to be revisited and conversed upon. In the last 8 months since we had our baby we've continuously talked and changed how we did things. But I also think where is my job as a stay-at-home mom is probably more mentally challenging I know that the physical challenge of my husband's job can also be very tiring

We have roles in relationships, in mine (pregnant 3rd trimester) me and partner have specific duties, like I’ll cook and clean take care of our home, he works a high physical demanding job, and will do grocery shop on my behalf, buy everything I need and want, pay for activities and just provide finically etc. on weekends I also get a little time to relax especially Sundays as we will cook together then he’ll clean up the kitchen afterwards. So it’s all about balance and I know what might work for me might not for you, but once you establish a routine and roles it’ll get easier. And when you need help somewhere ask for it from him, and make sure he’s comfortable to also ask you if he needs help somewhere x

Little ones are exhausting. I agree with what others have said you need to have an established decision of labor. It's great if he supports you financially but if you do all the house work then you still need to split the parenting to some extent, however my partner is injured and still working full time so I let it slide that he genuinely cant help much with the baby rn, if you have a situation like that I'd recommend reaching out to friends and family. In my case our parents are constantly dying to see the baby which means we can go to grandmas and I shower or nap while they coo over the baby.

My partner is currently on deployment and I work full time but it’s just me and baby when she’s not in nursery