Child Support Stress
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1000 a month in my opinion is fair especially if he isn’t the primary parent. Children are expensive and if you and your husband would part you would see just how much that 1k along with your support helps and is needed. On another note child support is based on income, income increases, so does child support.
CS is so rigged & unfair in most cases. Sorry you’re going through that.
See if you can get a private agreement or ask for more night which will make it go down.
Crazy how you would want to do another child out of things? If he earns more he should give more to his children so they can get more enjoyment from life too.
@Kristen we’re in the process of setting the child support amount, they never had an agreement and they’re finally deciding to get one settled with the courts
@Annie💜🌻🍄 it’s not about not wanting the child to benefit, I’d love to have him full time at our house because he’d have a better life here, it’s about the fact that $1000 is the difference between me having to work and put my 3mo in daycare or being able to stay home with him during these formative years. It’s about wanting to be able to care for both children but struggling with the financial burden of a child that isn’t mine. I’m just looking for people who understand or can sympathize and give advice so if that’s not you go away.
Sorry I feel like I’m confused because you not working would save money on daycare as is, and if child support is going up and you’re saying you can’t afford to stay home than how can you afford daycare? Daycare is usually incredibly expensive so does $1000 really change that or does your husband just want you to find a job now that more is coming out of his pocket? I’m not trying to be at all offensive btw I just feel like if the calculator is putting him at 1k a month than he’s making good money. Or at least enough that you could cut back and budget out 12k a year so you can stay home if that’s what you want for you and your baby
@Kristen basically, his offer will put us at an amount we could live off of by cutting back on a few things (which we’re willing to do because yes, daycare is too expensive) we also haven’t been paying CS because there is no order, so we will owe back support and be starting to pay regularly. I forgot about that when we got the offer, so I got excited that I could stay home and not have to find a remote job or something, then did the CS calculations and was just shocked by how high it was for the amount he will be making. It just seems like a lot for one child when he is supporting me and mine as well. I guess I just wanted some advice or to see if any other step moms had similar experiences or could sympathize. We would also love to have primary custody, but we can’t afford the lawyer that it would take to get that. It’s just a difficult situation.
@Megan ohhhh okay this makes a lot more sense. I was just really confused on how the 1k was the line where you needed to get a salary but I understand that the budgeting already happened. That is disheartening and disappointing. Being with partners with kids definitely can make you feel you are not an equal priority, especially when we have babies ourselves. I’ve definitely felt that at times. I hope you’re able to find something remote so you can spend as much time with your baby! You deserve to raise your child the way you want to 💕
I totally understand you want to stay home with your baby, I do too! But it sounds like the mother to his other child has had a pretty difficult time herself if no CS has been being paid! The child support he will pay and contribution to her household won’t cover her to stay at home and take care of their baby so I can understand why the contribution he makes to your household wouldn’t cover that either. I agree society is pretty fucked in the way it operates and the cost of living is crazy but his ex deserves the same towards their child as you do towards yours regardless of the situation. I was a child of a father who didn’t pay CS because he worked for my grandad who fudged his wages so he didn’t have to whilst I watched his second family have so much more then us as we battled with little food etc. it’s really tough to be that child.
Anyone saying 1000 pound is fair is warped. It’s disgusting the us cm system. If it’s equal then realistically it would be 2000 as mum would put in the same amount. Woman are living off child support it’s not fair
No kid cost 1000 pound a month you shouldn’t be helping covering bills in her house nor anything for her. You have your own bills simple. She needs too work
@Melanie finally someone with sense.
@Melanie yes he should cover a portion of the bills for their house, his own child lives there.
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@Melanie thank you, yes I completely agree. It’s really frustrating that our household has to provide for her and her child. Because realistically 1000 is enough to cover the child plus some of her personal bills. Plus she has a man now who helps support her. So now she’s got two men supporting her and one child. While I have my own child plus take care of her child and feed him and provide clothes for him when he’s at our house.
Honestly I'm glad I can afford to be a SAHM but my husband has to work harder and longer hours. I was a roofer and now have chronic back issues and can't do it anymore. I used to make 35/$/hr but now if I worked a min wage job, daycare would cost just as much, a little less maybe, but is it worth it us for me to be away from our child all day for a $100/wk profit? No
@Melanie did you read the part where it said they have not been paying CS before so this is also a backlog of payments? Which the mother would have been out of pocket to make until this was ordered? This should be all repaid too. It’s not the women who decide how much is given either it is the system, which she probably had to go through because nothing was being paid, so it’s not the woman being a ‘greedy scrounger’. it’s so disheartening hearing women speak about other women and their children like this. The OP has said how she doesn’t want to work, and her not wanting to work is fine but his ex, the mother of his other child, is called names for the same wishes that have been assumed when she could equally be working too. Come on, if it was the other way around this would not be the responses. ‘My ex has paid nothing in CS, he has now been ordered to pay X in back payments and ongoing support, his new partner is furious because this means she can’t be a SAHM and is looking for
Ways to be able to reduce this’. Women would be up in arms….
@Annie💜🌻🍄 the 1000 doesn’t include back support. Also, like I said, he has paid the majority of his child’s life, he recently stopped paying while they get an order in place as that was the advice his lawyer gave him because there has never been an order of any kind. He has only missed around 6 months of payments… we also have the child more than the minimum amount and have bought the child back to school things and clothes and food that we send home with him because he says he doesn’t eat at home since she doesn’t cook. I don’t think she’s greedy, I’ve never said anything bad about her, I’m frustrated with the system and the fact that we aren’t able to afford the type of lawyer that would help us have him full time so now we have to pay her a bunch of money that clearly doesn’t go towards the child.
My husband pays over $1000 .. bm still wants more . We had a child and I was back to work at 6 weeks postpartum . It’s based on income … and then it’s frustrating that she feels she’s entitled to more when SHE refuses to work full time . Like what ??? My husband and I both work 50+ hours a week and she work retail part time . A big girl job (full time) for her is too stressful but since we make more she feels it’s ok to ask for more …
@Eldrine 80% of the women on this app will agree with her too, it’s insane.
Hi, just wondering as it may differ between states but does he have to report a new job if he’s already paying child support? Or is child support being decided now while he’s in the middle of changing jobs? My husband has had salary increases and the amount was never changed.