Every baby is unique

Yeah those posts are so weird like how are we supposed to know how dark your baby is gonna be or “when the curls come in” It’s slightly like they have a fetish for a mixed baby and just want the stereotypical features of a mixed baby to set in so quickly, baby is like 3 days old

I hate them post! I’m mixed raced myself but I’m light my son is too but darker yet his sister is like me To me mixed raced babies is like a weird fetish some like but won’t learn the culture to teach the kids or care care the hair proper

Yeah it's definitely weird. There is a difference between "How do I care for THIS EXISTING hair texture?" and "What do you think I'm gonna GET?" like they are a prize in a gumball machine or something. Nobody is a fortune teller that can sequence your child's whole genome. No two kids are alike. Mixed race kids are not an accessory or special breed of "pet". They are people. And the only people who care about what races they are mixed with are family/friends who already know. Or racists. Not strangers who have to "guess their mix". They'll look somewhere between you and their father, with some other blood relatives sprinkled in. Just like any other kid. There. No one is special for having a mixed kid alone, and it sounds very fetishizing that looks are the only thing hardly anyone here cares about. No one can tell you how light/dark your kid is going to be, and if it makes a difference to you then you shouldn't have had a mixed race baby to begin with. Period.

Stop attacking mothers for being curious? Don't think they expect anyone to know for sure. I think they just are just looking for someone with the same mix to say "this is how my daughter/son looks," so they know what to expect. I mean, i don't know why it would matter, but it's up to them...

@Keisha that doesn’t make sense because black people don’t go around looking for people of the same skin colour to find out how their baby might look & I’m sure other races don’t do that… why? Because everyone is different and it depends on the parents characteristics😂😂😂 Please I think common sense should be used here. There’s a difference between genuine curiosity on things that make sense but were clearly talking about a certain group who indeed do fetishise over the stereotypical mixed race features, especially those who are mixed white & black. It’s a real thing & I’ve seen it. Why are you asking when your child’s melanin will kick in? We don’t know just let them grow😂😂

@Dreia if the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t wear it. If you’re not fetishising over them then you’re not the person we’re talking about but many do. It’s a known thing. It’s not made up and it happens. It’s okay to talk about it… you’d be surprised to even hear that there are some mixed race kids who will tell you their parents were racist. These things do happen, like I said, if the shoe doesn’t fit… leave it out

@Dreia it might be helpful to check your biases if the conversation made you uncomfortable. it's important to recognise that there's a distinct difference between genuine curiosity and the problematic posts we’re discussing. No one is making assumptions—it’s evident from the context. We have every right to discuss these issues. I'm not attacking anyone personally, just pointing out that it’s essential to use common sense in these discussions. The fetishisation of mixed-race children is a real issue that does happen, and it's worth acknowledging. That’s all from me, don’t be afraid to make posts and ask questions tho “If the shoe doesn’t fit don’t wear it” means, if you know you’re not fetishising & making these types of posts then this shouldn’t bother you.

@Dreia it’s a topic maybe you’re not ready for which is sad as you’re from the U.K. and the U.K. is not very forgiving to anyone not white… good luck

@Dreia I didn’t mention anything about your background, I mentioned about the U.K. not being forgiving to anyone not white… oh dear Calm down okay, it’s quite worrying that you’ve gotten so upset about this topic. Shall we never talk about issues that are happening because it might make you uncomfortable? Like you mentioned mixed race girls are fetishised by black men, I didn’t get upset about it having black brothers and saying “oh no I’m so sad you assumed that my black brother would automatically fetishise a mixed race woman” And yes I lived in Texas for 5 years… Belgium for 10 years and the UK for another 10+ years, as a black woman so yes dear, I understand. What I said about the U.K. stands. It’s okay to talk about harsh topics without having people shaking at their knees. So sorry it’s made you uncomfortable but it’s the truth and a weird one at that. If you’re not fetishising over them, it’s not directed at you.

Just to clarify my intention in this post was not to offend anyone or make anyone feel they aren't in a safe space or stop mums from asking Qs about their kids especially if they are FTMs or have a child that is mixed race and they're not familiar with specific aspects like hair or skin care. I certainly didn't want to cause any arguments about mums asking Qs cos that's the whole point of the group. I'm genuinely sorry @Dreia if this made you feel unsafe as I said that wasn't my intention. The point of my post was to highlight that are certain posts- not yours @Dreia cos I did read yours, that ask Qs like how light/dark is my baby going to get. My point was even if one child is the same mix as another on terms of races, there are so so many factors that determine colour, skin, hair texture. Like the specific genetic makeup of each individual which is specific to each person or the fact that their great grandparents may have had a different ethnic mix but they weren't aware of.

This group should totally be a space to ask Qs about hair/skin care and other things related to mixed race babies and children. And I'm sorry if I made anyone feel like they couldn't do that as that wasn't my point. But the constant discussion about colour and hair texture prompted me to write this post. Noone knows how a babies complexion will change as they grow older. That's entirely based on that child's genetics. We live in a world where we and our children are constantly being judged for their colour and hair it just made me so uncomfortable some posts appeared to follow that narrative. Love & Peace to All

It's too true. I have 4 children. Same mix. Only one of the 4 has curly hair like me, while the others have straight hair like dad. They all ended up getting darker as they aged, BUT one gets darker than the other 3 when it's sunny season.