My daughter is 16m and my newborn 5wks, I try to keep my toddler involved as much as possible! She loves handing me wipes, babies binky, throwing clothes in the hamper, etc. making her feel involved, important and helpful when I’m tending baby has helped a ton! There’s definitely still moments where I have two crying kids in my lap, but this helps prevent a lot of jealousy!
Like Brooke, I got my toddler involved as much as possible with helping mummy get the changing mat out, nappies or wipes. Taking the nappy bag to the bin with me. Loads of praise so they don't get jealous. Also watching turn of phrases, ones like I can't do that because of your sibling could cause tension without even realising. When you're feeding, can you get your toddler to get a book and sit next to you reading? It might be an unpopular opinion, but I would often deal with my toddler first, as they are mobile and able to cause more havoc (depending on the situation) Things like if they are both hungry, I could get up and get a snack for my eldest to eat whilst I then fed the youngest, then when they were sorted I could do more for the eldest. Or you could swaddle your youngest so your hands are free to be there for the eldest. I'd recommend having tricks up your sleeve like a box of toys/treats that only comes out when your feeding so it's exciting for your eldest.
My LG is now 6 months and LB is 2 years 4 months and it is much better but we still have our difficult moments when both want me. It is usually around her first feed when my little boy likes to chill and cuddle in the mornings. Baby wearing is good, as then you have hands free to be with toddler. My little boy doesn't have much interest with the helping out so I just try to chat with him or we read a story, even when I'm holding my little girl so that we are still having time together. Another thing I read which works for me is that if my toddler asks for something and I can't do it right away, I say 'yes' but kind of drag out the time with other conversations. This way they don't hear 'no' or 'in a minute' all the time x
Here for the comments because I will be in your boat in less than 2 months!