Mother in law turning up unannounced

All you can do is to tell your husband, it's your home and no one should disrespect you there. If you put her in her place then she will complain to hubby and that is probably gonna be worse then telling hubby first. Insha Allah he will understand that mil is rude and if she doesn't like the mess she has 2 choices if she wants to visit : help tidying up or keep her mouth closed. No disrespect is welcome in your home

Religion is no excuse to be disrespectful, and respect (elders or not) is earned. Your house, your rules. Your husbands priority should be you and the boys. He is not married to his mother, he needs to grow a pair and be an advocate for his wife and children. Unacceptable behaviour from her, she needs to be put in ber place. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this… my house is an absolute mess half of the week! Having children is hard, let alone 3 boys! You’re doing amazing, don’t let anyone put you down. Xxx

Mine and SIL would do the same and comment on the smallest spec of dust, complain if I’m napping or there is no food (whilst pregnant and unwell). After the 3rd time I told my husband this is not on, tell them to give notice prior to turning up. Islamically you are meant to give notice before visiting someone. Not the opposite. Haven’t seen them since alhamdulilah. It’s wrong and disrespectful in every way! Hope your husband sees the light !!

Islamically if you go to someones house and they dont answer, even if you think theyre in, you should leave as you arrived uninvited. Invited guests are different.

I would reply to her saying “Yeah that’s what it’s like when you have kids. Do you wanna help tidy up? If not then stop making comments.” what a rude lady. acting as if she never had a messy house. Don’t open the door next time she comes.

Islam and culture get so muddled up! It stresses me out sometimes honestly. I am due this month and am nervous about uninvited guests showing up in the early days. I would try getting your husband to understand your perspective, or politely ask her to let you know when she would like to come over. It's a completely reasonable request. I know it's a million times easier said than done. People take offense so easily, and also seem to like causing drama over nothing sometimes 😔 Good Luck x

Tbh if you told her to let u know before she comes and she still decides to come when she wants then I just wouldn’t open the door. Since she wants to bring up Islam, she should know that it’s not right for her to be commenting in your house and since she’s not living in it then it’s literally none of her business. I’m sorry u have to deal with this but I feel like u should definitely try to speak to your husband about this, you should come first to him and if she’s making u uncomfortable then he should put a stop to that ❤️

@Kate oh god I had this issue when I gave birth and I hated it. If I was u I’d just let everyone know that I wouldn’t be staying home for the first month or so and just say you are staying with family to get help and heal so u can have the first months to heal and bond with your baby 🥰

Notice is essential, esp as you have your hands tied with 3 children. Why don't they support you by giving you a helping hand, rather than commenting.