Severe fear of childbirth- FTM

Fear of child birth is normal I'd say until you go through it. I'm having my second baby in April '25 and I have some anxiety about it but it's not the same. I think it's the fear of the unknown having never experienced it before. Accepting that it's a reality and it's going to happen but a beautiful baby comes at the end of it that's all that matters. Sounds silly, but I educated myself on following pregnancy pages on Instagram who show raw footage of birth experiences and options for certain things. It helped strengthen me and get me prepared for it.

@Hanna thank you for normalizing this fear! 🤗 i have tried doing some of that research to educate myself and it feels like it almost makes it worse and now I’ve been avoiding any pregnancy posts that show up on my feed. I do so badly want to get more comfortable with it! Hopefully little by little and by the time April comes around I’ll have warmed up 🙏🙏

Following @ popthatmumma and kghypnobirthing on instagram has very much helped. I also avoid things I’m anxious about but I’ve leaned into pages like this and feel much more confident. You’re made to do this, you just don’t know it yet!

Totally normal. You're facing a complete unknown! Obsessing over it to the point of tears is a bit beyond normal anxiety levels though. Has anxiety always been an issue for you? Don't get hung up on measurements - they are notoriously way off. I had 2 "big" babies (8lb 10oz, 9lb 7oz) and no complications. Some tearing that required stitches, but very little pain during healing. It was best for me to just try not to dwell on it. Afterall, you just won't know until you know, right? I was so worried about having a "birth plan" but I wasn't dedicated to all natural or anything, so it helped to have more of just a general idea. Make sure the support person with you knows what you want as well so they can be your advocate. And it can all change in an instant during childbirth, so above all trust your medical team. In my experience they are happy to accommodate your preferences and won't pressure you to make certain decisions unless it's truly a matter of your or baby's safety.

@Kelsea thank you so much! I am going to look into their pages 🙏

@Audrey is it that obvious that i have dealt GAD (general anxiety disorder) for years? 😂😂 you are spot on! I have already told my husband as far as a birthplan goes…. The goal is to just leave the hospital with healthy humans… how we get there.. is up to whatever happens! It’s really is easier said than done when it cones to actually feeling that way. It’s nice to hear that you had good experiences with “big babies” 🫶

@Madeline well I may recognize it from personal experience 😅 I wish I had heard of PPA v. PPD - it wasn't until after my second that I realized I was struggling with it and had with my first, but I was so overwhelmed that I never had time to seek the therapy that would probably have helped. I just thought it was something hormonal easing my general anxiety and that all the baby-related anxieties were normal. 😞 Didn't help that it was during the pandemic and my parent "village" was non-existent.

I have the exact same fear as well! I know we have a long way to go still but I'm dreading the experience though also excited because I can't wait to meet my baby. However I have such a low pain tolerance I think that's what scares me the most. For me I try not think about it since I don't have to do it just yet

So I’m not a FTM, this is my second… but my first was breech and required an ECV and nearly a C-section. Then when he was born I was induced and those contractions hurt so bad I don’t recall roughly 5 hours of my labor. From 11-5am when I finally got epidural which I desperate didn’t want. Then I hemorrhaged and lost roughly 55-60% of my blood supply. At 50% you go into multi organ failure according to my doctor who thanked me for not dying. Because of the blood loss I passed out just over 30 minutes after he was born and proceeded to sleep for like 2 days and had to be told what happened because I didn’t know. Because of all of that I am terrified this time around 🙃 it’s normal, and it’s scary. 😬

lol after someone just shared a super scary birth. I thought I would share mine! I was terrified with my first but I ended up getting an epidural early on (had to get induced) so before I even felt any contractions I already had the epidural working. So I essentially have a completely pain free birth! I laughed and joked the entire time I was in labor and pushing. It was super relaxing and peaceful and I would be so lucky if my birth went like that again. So there are scary births but it’s possible for birth to go super well and for you to enjoy it as well! Just keep asking questions and learning about what you think you would like during labor and you got this mama!

@Bella I hope this time is far less scary. You're brave for taking the risk again after that experience. This is why I would never consider not giving birth in a hospital where emergency services are immediately available! So many women used to die during or from complications of childbirth for reasons that are now avoidable. The hospital where I delivered my first two offered rooms designed more like a bedroom for those planning a natural birth, with big tubs for water birth and everything.

@Bella so sorry to hear how scary that all is! You’re amazing for going at it again!

@Kara thank you so so much! Honestly i feel like these are the stories i need most of all to just know that here are possibilities of peaceful deliveries. I’ll be sure I’m not overly naive about the realistic scarier possibilities, but hearing stories like your does bring a sense of calm. Thank you!🙏

@Madeline I’m not trying to scare you, it’s just… labor is scary and it can flip in a second. While my labor was absolutely traumatic I trusted my doctors enough to know they wouldn’t let me die and in the end that’s all that mattered to me. I did thankfully find a new doctor and she was so shocked by everything I told her and she said we will do everything by your calls. We’ll make it a healing pregnancy and birth. For that I am hopeful my new doctor has been lovely and I have hope for this one. My son has no one but me, so if something where to happen to me… he’d suffer.. that’s my biggest fear, my son being left without me.

@Audrey the issue is, my doctor and nurses where useless. The only think I knew is they’d do everything to save me and they did, but they where the ones that made my sons birth so crappy. They made everything so negative and I have a whole list of issues I had with them. From telling me a birth plan was stupid and do what they said. To the nurse telling me I’m dumb for not clamping his cord immediately so she tried to rip it off before clamping while I was telling her to stop pulling on him. They stole my child at 3am without telling me or my partner after I said he was not to leave my side. I woke up to her wheeling him out and by the time I got up they where gone. He was not returned for 4 hours. Hospitals are not good in every case. I wish I hadn’t needed to be induced I 100% blame being induced for my hemorrhage, and I hope with every ounce of me I don’t need induction again.

@Bella your journey is in my thoughts for both you and your son! It’s so great to have a new and supportive team listening to your concerns to make this next one hopefully much more pleasant for you! 🙏 I’d love to hear back again after the fact on how it all goes 🤗

@Madeline I really appreciate that.. Same to you! It’s scary, but we got this mama 😭 My MIL tells me baby’s gotta come out one way or the other either section and hurt later or vaginally and hurt in the moment. Not very reassuring, but still true. I will say my little boy was well worth it, and this little guy will be as well. ❤️🫶🏻 wishing you luck, sending you love, and you got this!

I was so anxious and terrified when I was pregnant with my first last year! I didn’t take any birthing classes, didn’t create a birth plan, packed my hospital bag as I was having contractions, etc. 😂 I will say— it’s totally normal to be anxious, but the nurses and midwife did such an amazing job helping me throughout the process and making me comfortable! I got an epidural around 5/6 cm, and it was a surprisingly positive experience. I am planning on delivering again at the same hospital, so I’m hoping I have a similar experience