Finding secondary school for SD.

Am I being harsh? My SD is 10 and applying for secondary school. She lives with her mother who frankly can be useless at times. I’m really annoyed as I tried to talk to my fiancé in the summer about secondary school education for her, but he didn’t want to hear it as the two of us were not on good terms. Now the deadline for local school application is tomorrow and he wants me to find out about good schools in the area where she lives. I’m 5 weeks postpartum plus we have a 5 year old son. I’ve told my partner no. Her mum can do it. The mum just wants her to go to the same school as her oldest daughter who is 15 (not fiancé‘s child). Ofsted rating for that school is “good” and GCSE results aren’t particularly great. He’s also mentioned applying for private school. There are no private schools in her area, which would mean she would have to live with us. He can’t even make it home on time once a week to take our son to swimming lessons, let alone drive her to and from school every day. Also she hasn’t done any preparation for the 11 plus exam. The private schools all set their own exams based on 11+ material. These exams are in January. He hasn’t been to any open days or looked at the application criteria. I’ve sent hints details of the schools and told him to work it out with her mum. Am being too harsh?

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Not your responsibility If her mum isn’t arsed and dad isn’t overly arsed then why should you care! If mum wants her to go to the school her older daughter goes then so be it especially if she lives there most the time :)

You are his partner not his secretary! It’s his problem not yours xx

@Amy thank you for your response. I completely agree with you. If her parents can’t be arsed, I don’t see why it’s my problem. Although the school her mum wants to attend isn’t the greatest, it makes sense for her to go there with her older sister. Also, I don’t think I should interfere in what happens in her household. It would be different if she lived with us.

It’s not up to you to find and apply to a school for a child that’s not yours. If your husband or his ex can’t be bothered why should you?

Just to let you know, I’ve told him that he needs to look at the information that I’ve sent to him. He also needs to be speak to his ex and the two of them need to decide what’s best for their daughter. With regard to the private schools, again I’ve sent him links to their websites so he can look up the admissions process. I’m tired looking after our newborn and our 5 year old. I can’t be exhausting myself when he isn’t bothered to do so.

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